But spiritual parenting tells our children, “Yes, this time you did not choose truth, but this does not define you. This is not who you are. This is something you did, but it is not who you are. You’re still the same person. You still belong to God—you are in Christ. And that can’t be taken away.” We must remind them of their true identity because guilt and shame are debilitating demons.
Consensus is defined as “general agreement among a group.” You know where consensus comes into play in your life, right? You want to start moving ahead with your ideas, but you feel you need some consensus from your leaders to do it. You know what needs to be done, but you want consensus from others before moving forward. You are burdened with a need that needs met quickly, but you want to build consensus so you won’t feel all alone meeting the need.
The danger with consensus is that oftentimes it stagnates our progress and delays our successes. In and of itself, consensus is a great thing to have. There are times when it is absolutely necessary to get others on your side before moving forward on something. But there are those other times that we use the lack of consensus as an excuse to not obey what we know God has told us to do.
So how do you know when to gain consensus, and when to act quickly without it? How should I know. You’re the one working in your church, leading your family, and daily seeking God’s Will for your life and situation, right? You’re already the expert.
Just refuse to buy into the lie that you NEED consensus to do anything. Pray and act, pray and act, pray and act, and I believe you will go in the direction that you and your group need to go.
When the will has become enslaved by its need, when the mind has become obsessed with the object of its desire, when the appetite of the body has become master rather than servant, the soul is disordered. The ultimate reality behind human dissatisfaction is sinful souls that have been cut off from the God we were made to rest in. That’s why we’re dissatisfied.
I have led some really great teams of leaders in my experience. Leading great leaders has forced me to evaluate myself to become the leader they need me to be. In this journey, I’ve discovered 6 important keys to making it happen for my team.
1. Let them be themselves. You hired them for who they are, let them be that. (Wisdom and Discretion applied as needed.)
2. Encourage Self Management. When you hire someone, let them manage their own time and productivity. (See #3 for corresponding key.)
3. Hold everyone Accountable. When letting someone be themselves, and encouraging self management on your team; it’s imperative that you also couple those things with heavy accountability. When is the last time you asked your team what their daily and weekly schedule looked like? Not that you want to change it, but just because you want to see with your eyes what they are doing with their time.
4. Say Thank You. The easiest thing to forget when leading others, yet also the easist thing to do. When you see something great, tell them you saw it. So easy to do, so easy to forget.
5. Force Teamwork. You might say, “How can you force something that should be natural?” Easy, I tell people to work together on projects. When they do that, they are being a team. I will not tolerate the solitary person on our team, we all have to buy in and be a team. And sometimes that takes the leader making that big ask!
6. Set the Example. Be the change you want to see on your team. I know it’s easier said than done…but it’s important nonetheless!
This list goes on and on and on and on…what would you add?
Are you a nice person? Are you an encourager? Do people want to be in your presence?
Are you a jerk? Do you push people away with insulting behavior and a lack of respect?
There is great power and influence in simply being a nice person. Of course you could lead by demanding and pushing out those that resist, but then you will probably end up working in a different place than the local church…right? Unfortunately, this isn’t the case; and I’ve had my fair share of “What are they thinking?” moments with supervisors and pastors I’ve worked for in the church. But when you make a decision to be a nicer person to those around you, you will open doors of opportunity to truly impact people around you with your vision for where you want to go!
There are probably 1,000 things that could help you be nicer to those around you, but have you considered these?
- Have someone over for dinner.
- Take someone to coffee.
- Write a thank you note.
- Send an unwarranted mobile text saying thank you.
- Smile at people.
- Stop complaining in the presence of others.
- Stop conversations that are turning negative.
- Compliment someones shoes.
- Give people time to answer the question, “How are you doing?”
- Be intentional about getting to know people.
- Be generous with your time.
- Open your life up for others to see.
- Make eye contact when listening to someone.
- Talk to children. Really, really talk to them.
- Introduce your spouse to new people.
- Have a firm handshake and offer your hand to strangers.
- Don’t brag about yourself.
- Wear deodorant and brush your teeth.
- Speak complimentary of your superiors and bosses.
- Praise good things in others.
- Laugh often.
- Don’t laugh when it’s not appropriate.
- Ask forgiveness when it’s needed.
- Be quick to pray for people when they open up about a need.
- Listen well, Talk less.
And most importantly, just try to be nice. I can promise that if you intentionally set out to be a nicer person, it will happen. People are much more gracious than you would imagine, and there is room for bad days here and there. The power of forgiveness compliments this so well!
When we strive to be a person that is concerned for others, then we can become an influencer of people. When you influence people, you can help lead others through life change! The power to influence others may be the greatest power given to us, and it all starts with learning to NOT be a jerk!