Special Guest Post from my wife Starr. She is the mother of my 3 children, and the woman I've been married to for almost 15 years! If you like this post, then you can just imagine how genuinely blessed I am to share a house with this woman everyday.
I was agitated. I had a long day at work. The lasagna I made took 4x as long to make and clean up than it did to eat, and no one was even all that impressed by it.
I was busy getting the last of dinner put away before we needed to jet out the door to get to my 5th grade son Ryan’s baseball game. As I rinsed the final dish I said to my 1st grade daughter, “Lauryn, I need you to brush your hair and get your shoes on your feet. Right now. We’ve gotta go.” I ran upstairs to toss a load of clothes in the dryer and pull on my shoes. Jog back down the stairs… to see Lauryn still sitting in the middle of the living room floor. Hair a mess. No shoes. Clearly day dreaming.
The agitation I mentioned in paragraph one had now escalated.
I stopped. Looked at her. And thought, “I cannot think of a consequence for her at this moment. My brain is fried. I am annoyed. I am late. She is not ready to go. What consequence is appropriate here….other than letting loose with the “Are you KIDDING me right now?!?!” speech that I wanted to spew all over her messy-headed self. In my agitation, I was baffled as to what I should even say or do.
Then, in that still small voice, I hear the Lord say “If anyone lacks wisdom, he should ask the Father who gives graciously to all without finding fault.”
Okay then, Lord. I need some help here. I need some wisdom.
Then, “Look at her.”
I see her, Lord. She’s shoeless with messy hair and she is making me late.
“Look again. Look.”
I see her, Lord. Okay, yes. Yes…. [deep breath] I see. She’s seven, and precious, and caught up in her own sweet world that’s full of innocent daydreams. But Lord, she clearly disobeyed. I told her to brush her hair. Find her shoes. She didn’t. What now?
“Yes. Grace. Lighten up. She can put her shoes on in the car, and the baseball fields don’t require combed hair for entrance. It’s okay. Take a breath, and enjoy her. Gather her up sweetly, guide her with shoes in hand to the car, and go watch your boy play some baseball.”
Oh. Okay. Yes. I guess I can do that.
At the ball fields, a hat covering up that unbrushed hair!
And so off we went. The Holy Spirit gifted me with a change of heart: From agitation…to enjoyment. From wanting to discipline her (not for her benefit, but because I was annoyed)….to extending grace. He is so, so good to answer when we call to Him. Sometimes the answer saves the mood of the entire evening. I so enjoyed riding to baseball singing along to the radio together, rather than spending the drive lecturing!
Obviously, I am all for kids learning to be quick to obey, and I expect that my kids respect me by doing what I ask. But I’m grateful for a God who sees the whole picture and knows when a mom needs to be reminded to just take a breath and lighten up. Sometimes, it’s just a pair of shoes.