During a conversation today, I realized that I was trying to shake some labels that had been attributed to me. This happens quite often in my ‘line of work’; and I find it extremely frustrating. I work in a church, a pretty normal church. Some would say that we are cutting edge and non-traditional, while still others might find us bland and super traditional. When people find out what I do they assume things about me that aren’t necessarily true. They try and fit me in a box, and put a label on who they think I am. For instance, because I work in a church does NOT make me like everyone else you’ve ever met that worked in a church. I am not your grandpa’s minister. I listen to all kinds of music, I appreciate the arts, I read books, and I do many other things that I think make me not ‘churchy.’ In fact, I rarely let others know that I even work at a church; because of the assumptions that come along with it. (And yes, most of the things you make fun of on Christian TV, I also make fun of. Who wouldn’t? Most of it is absurd!) And some of these labels comes from those involved in non-traditional churches; who assume I lead communion with a priest collar because my church is traditional. My church is what it is (and I love those who make it what it is), but let me be who I am; apart from my church.
Another example, at my church I primarily work with children. I don’t do this because I’m too stupid to be a senior pastor; or because I’m too nerdy to be a youth pastor. I do it, because I’m good at it, and I love working with kids. When people find out I work with the kids, it’s like I’m the one guy at their church that they do NOT want to speak with. Their expression often says, “What does he know? He only hands out cups of cold water and goldfish for a living.” And of course I get looked at funny since I’m a man; and not woman. Seems you can’t always trust a man working with kids…
Another example, I’m white. I attend an extremely multi-racial church; and often I’m labeled quickly as being upper-class and snobby by some of the people at my church because I’m white. I did go to college, but I’m anything but upper class. After inviting most of these people over to my house for dinner, they realize that I’m barely upper lower class.
And a final instance, I’m 30. This is important because I often am mistaken for being in my early 20′s. Good problem, right? Can be a good thing, but often I’m labeled as ‘too inexperienced’ for what I’m doing. Some of those who have worked under me have assumed that I’m an idiot; and was handed my job because of someone I knew, not my experience or qualifications.
It’s funny how these labels stick to me. I’m not the person most people think I am after they get to know me. It’s a common occurrence to hear the people at my church or other outside of church tell me, “Boy I didn’t like you when I first met you, but you aren’t really like I thought you would be.” What am I to make of that?
