I’m at Subway last night, and there are these two men in front of me. Both of them are mildly overweight (I’m being nice). They proclaim to me, the Subway Sandwich artist, and the rest of the store that they are on the Subway Diet. These guys tell everyone that they are both on day #2 of eating Subway for lunch and dinner, and nothing else. “Gonna lose these bellies!” he proclaims.

One of the gentlemen orders a Double Meat, Double Cheese Turkey foot long which is then covered with Mayonnaise and exactly two tomato slices. The next guy teases and says that’s way too much fat for the subway diet and proceeds to order a BLT. Sounds nice, right? Nope, he asks for double meat. The lady explains that the BLT doesn’t have meat. (It’s Bacon Lettuce, and Tomato.) He then explains that he wants triple bacon on his BLT! No kidding there had to have been 15 slices of bacon on the sandwich.

When I saw this, I accidentally laughed out loud. This fella looks at me, and I said, “I don’t think Jared ever put 15 slices of bacon on his ‘diet’ sandwich.” As soon as I said it, I knew that I should have kept my mouth shut. He glared at me, and I looked towards the door in case I had to make a run for it. He just slowly glared away and stopped talking to everyone for the rest of his time in the store.