Archives For December 2008
I’ve not been in Children’s Ministry for decades, but I think I’ve finally compiled a strong list of ways to keep parents from bringing kids to church:
- When the nursery kids are dropped off in their classroom, firmly plant them in a high chair and leave them there to eat Cheerios for 90 minutes.
- Force parents to look through 5 pages of check-in papers to find their kids name and check off their name with an old Abilene Credit Union pen with the end chewed off.
- Make parents hang out in classrooms with their kids until the teacher arrives 10 minutes later.
- Have volunteers repeatedly hack, cough, dry heave, and scratch their skin incessantly while they try and help children find their classrooms.
- Give each elementary child at the very least their body weight in candy while they are with you.
- When that hurried parent trying to pick up their kids as fast as possible tells you that service is over, just tell them you’re not done yet and ask them to wait patiently for 5 more minutes.
- If at all possible try and send home all craft projects with white Elmer’s glue still wet and dripping in every direction.
- Don’t take the time to remove the VBS classroom signs from three months ago, if they’re serious about finding the class for their 3 year old they’ll come upon it eventually.
- Just go ahead and let that 9 year old big brother hang out with his 2 year old sister in her preschool class.
- Let the kids use colored sharpie markers while unsupervised.
I can guarantee you with actually certainty that all of these work. Trust me, I have first-hand experience in these matters. ;)
This past Tuesday I had AT&T come out and install U-Verse at the house. I signed up for the TV and Internet package. I’ve heard rumors about U-Verse coming to my area, but mostly things like this in Lubbock are just rumors. Then right before Thanksgiving, I found out that it was a reality. For those of you wondering what U-Verse is:
Uverse is a suite of Internet Protocol (IP)-based products and services , including AT&T U-verse TV, AT&T U-verse High Speed Internet, and AT&T U-verse Voice telephone, (VoIP) service. It’s NOT DSL, it’s NOT traditional phone service, and it’s NOT a dish on your house.
In Lubbock when using a DISH you can’t get local channels in HD and you have to have two dishes on the roof to get all the channels. With the cable company the service is decent, but is way behind on the technology sides of things and is always behind their competitors offerings.
So I made the switch and I love it (famous last words, huh?) The DVR menu is wonderfully organized, and is superior to anything I have ever used. U-Verse also is instant, meaning you can actually channel surf; eliminating the 3-5 second hangup that I always got when selecting a channel with others. The coolest things about U-Verse TV is that I can program my DVR through my computer and even through my mobile device, and it offers 4 inputs of recording so I can record up to 2 HD feeds and 2 SD feeds at the same time. The SD channels are of great quality, and the HD seems to be pretty fantastic as well. I’ve got more for my money with U-Verse than I was getting with my cable company and I got it all for about $10/less a month. (Can you hear the cheap bird? Cheap…cheap…cheap…)
I signed up online, and am expecting $225 in rebates of some sort in the next 2 months. U-Verse also has NO contracts upon sign-up. I’m guessing they’re doing this to encourage people to try out the new technology. So basically I’m on a free two-month trial.
The Internet speeds are what I’m paying for, and that’s about all you can ask for. Right?
The only downside was the 3 week wait for install, and the fact that the DVR remote they gave me won’t turn my new HD television on or off (I’ve found a work-around so it’s not a killer.) If you’re getting one of those shiny new High Definition TV’s for Christmas, then you should really consider U-verse, really!
If you like my little commercial for U-Verse, Go to att.com/referrals, enter my referral code shown below, and order eligible AT&T services. Referral Code: JX1413981