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In Spite of Myself

Hebrews 10:35 Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. 36 For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.

I know what I’m good at. For the sake of appearing humble, I won’t give you a run down; but I am usually a fairly confident person. I have even been confidently wrong on a few things. If I’m in a job interview, I could easily name a handful of things that I feel comfortable doing and feel that I do quite well. But knowing what I’m good at still doesn’t keep me from concentrating on what I’m bad at. I can do 9 out of 10 things well, but that one thing I’m not good at will keep me up at night. It’s what I’m NOT good at that bugs me the most.

I can program a great Sunday mornings experience for our kids, but I’ll drive home thinking of a conversation I had that morning where I didn’t quite say the right thing. Or maybe I talk to the college students during one of their events. I will do a moderately decent job speaking; but I’m up at 3am thinking of that one really stupid thing I said (or maybe it was a dozen stupid things I said….)

I know I’m not alone in this, surely others feel this…right?

As I read Hebrews 10:35-36 this week, I am reminded that my confidence is in God, and it is needed to endure through the end of God’s will. I am learning to have confidence that God knows all my inabilities in ways that even I haven’t even realized, and in spite of all of them he continues to give me opportunities to carry out His will.

Lord, help me to look past the mistakes and errors that paint the picture of my life and help me to see your hand working in my life. Help me to endure to the end of your will for my life.

Jonathan Cliff is married to his wife Starr and they together live out their days with two sons and a daughter. Jonathan serves as one of the Pastors at Grace Community Church in Clarksville, Tennessee; where he works with leaders throughout the city to help develop Christian community that leads to deep and meaningful spiritual friendships. His journey has been an adventurous one, having served in the local church for 15 years in family ministry developing leaders, building environments for kids and students to belong, and encouraging parents to take big spiritual steps with their families.