Disclaimer: All these thoughts originated from my study of Orange. They are specifically taken from the Essence of Family teaching given by Reggie Joiner, and can be found in his book, “Think Orange.” This is a fantastic book, and if you work with churches to reach kids then this should be your Manifesto!
Five Essential Parenting Skills
3. Make It Personal
Deuteronomy 6:6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.
These commandments have to be in my heart, before I can hand them off to my children. It has to be in me, before it can be in them. Consider this free wisdom from someone that has worked with kids for years: You must never try to impress your kids with who you want them to think you are. You can only fool them for so long. And when they find out that you’re a fraud, they’ll only resent you for it.
It’s okay for my kid to see who I really am. Especially if I want them to see the difference God is making in my life. Do your children know what your weaknesses are? If you say they don’t, then you’re only fooling yourself. What you’re bad at is obvious to everyone. I struggle with a bad temper, and can become easily frustrated when things don’t work out as I planned. Do you really think my family doesn’t already know this? They’ve probably known it longer than I have. When I decide to make my weaknesses a point of teaching my children, then I can create a new parenting strength. Every time I mess up and fail to keep my word, or fail to control my anger; I then have the opportunity to ask my children to forgive me. I don’t often miss the chance to ask my children to forgive me.
Kids need to see their parents:
Struggle with answers.
Face their weaknesses.
Deal with real problems.
Admit when they are wrong.
Fight for their marriage.
Resolve personal conflict.
My kids need to see me make relational, emotional,and spiritual growth a priority.
I choose to Make It Personal and let my kids see what God is doing in my life.