Yesterday I introduced the topic of choosing a quality ministry staff team. Interviewing, reading resumes, checking references, and discussing a candidates strengths and weaknesses are all a part of the process. However, there are three things that I’m looking for in every person that has the potential to join my ministry team!
First, I’m looking for somebody involved in a healthy married relationship. (Of course if they are not married, they are exempt.) I’m not going to hire somebody that can’t say something nice about their husband (or wife.) I want somebody that is secure in their relationship, and won’t be coming to work everyday looking for my approval for them as an individual. It’s a dangerous game for me as a man to surround myself with needy women that don’t get enough attention at home. That sounds harsh, doesn’t it?
Now, how do I find this out? Legally, I can’t ask questions about their spouse; but I can listen for little things. For instance, do they mention their spouse when I ask about their purpose? Do they mention their spouse when I ask them to describe how they make decisions that affect their families? I’m always looking and listening for the little things people say about the person they’re married to. It always makes me feel more comfortable with a person that speaks well of their spouse.
You will disqualify yourself almost immediately if you disparage your husband, belittle his past ideas, or tell me that he doesn’t want you to work for the church. By the way, I’ve heard all these things in interviews over the years. This filter helps me to determine how committed a person will be to their purpose and passion serving our church in a ministry staff position. If they’re committed to their spouse, and consider themselves blessed to share life with them, then I know that they will feel the same way about many other committments they make.
I have a team of all women, besides myself of course, yet the same applies when the day comes for me to hire a male counterpart.