The following is one part in a series of letters to Parents. All of it is meant with the most serious of intentions, and is not directed at any one parent. It is simply the writing of a man that has worked with children and their parents in a church setting for many years now.

Dear Parents,

Thank you so much for coming to church this weekend.  It was a thrill to see you and your entire family worshipping with the rest of your church family.  I know that you had to get up earlier than you might have preferred, fought to get kids ready in their “church clothes”, swigged down some coffee quickly, and rushed to be with us on Sunday.  For that I am greatly appreciative!

However, I noticed something interesting this week.  You didn’t arrive until 30 minutes after church started, and our services are only 60 minutes long.  This can be problematic, which I’m sure you understand.  Let me say that being late isn’t the issue, it’s the consistently being late that is a greater concern.  We all have “those Sundays” when everything that could go wrong does, and you get to church much later than anticipated.  I’m speaking more towards being late every…single…weekend.  Please know that you are communicating the wrong message to your child, those that work with your child, and all the other children attending each weekend.

I can hear it now, “What are you talking about?  This isn’t really any of your business!” And I agree, but please let me ask you to consider what message you might be sending by being late every weekend.

1. First, you’re asking your kid to play major catch-up. // If the service is 60 minutes long, and you arrive to drop off the kid after the first 30 minutes, then they have probably already missed the following: Praise and Worship, Introduction of Bottom Line elements, Bible Story, and many times your arrival corresponds with the most intense and most serious time of the entire morning.  That’s right, by being late your kid has missed everything the kids consider “the good stuff”.  In Kid’s ministry things move fast, and we put a premium on quickly moving from one thing to the next.  We’re always teaching our bottom line; but by missing the first 30 minutes your child will have difficulty grasping and internalizing the message.
2. Second, it’s a distraction. // This is the one that I feel the worst about bothering you about. Apologies as I step on your well-intentioned toes, but here I go…  When you arrive 30 minutes late to a 4 year old class, it means the teacher has to stop what they’re doing to check-in your kid. That might mean stopping the lesson right in the middle of a teaching time, when they’ve already worked hard to capture the gnat-like attention of a class of 4 year olds. It’s quite simply a major distraction to everyone already in the classroom.  It’s also a major distraction to your own child.  There are some major embarrassment and separation issues related to dropping off a child into an environment that isn’t prepped for drop-off and check-in time.  It’s hard on your own child in a way that I know you would never intend.
3. Third,  it’s less than the best. // Everyone wants what’s best for your child.  Everyone on my team at the church wants your child to have the most positive experience possible on a Sunday morning, and I have no doubt that you want the best as well.  When your child arrives late to church, it’s quite simply giving them less than what is best.  My team at the church has planned every minute of our time with your child to help illustrate God’s redemptive plan and His love for your children.  Let us have as much of this time as possible!

So you may be asking, “What can I do to help this not be a problem?” That’s a great question, and here are some solutions.

• If you’re running late, then wait until the next service starts and give your kid the 100% experience at the upcoming later service.  Of course, this only applies if your church has more than one service, and if you were trying to get to the early service.
• If you’re running late, apologize to the people trying to get your child situated into the environment quickly.  A kind word does wonders for a teacher that has to deal with distraction you’ve created.  The fact is that being late happens to all of us, but recognize the burden it is on those leading the classrooms.  Just apologize, and act like it matters.
• If you’re running late, then promise yourself and your family that this will be the last time.  Work hard to be on-time, if for no other reason that because it’s best for your kids.  That’s reason enough isn’t it?

Thanks for bringing your kids to us each weekend, and know that we love, love, love having them with us.  It’s a thrill to minister to all the different parts of your family, and you are to be commended for the intentional effort you make every week to worship as a family.

Sincerely,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Children’s Pastor

The following is one part in a series of letters to Parents. All of it is meant with the most serious of intentions, and is not directed at any one parent. It is simply the writing of a man that has worked with children and their parents in a church setting for many years now.

Dear Parents,

Thank you for coming to church…last month.  Where ya been?  I love seeing you and your family, but it’s been a while.  Don’t lie about how much you attend, because nowadays I can track your kids attendance pretty easy with all the sophisticated software solutions out there.  I’m sure your schedule has been really busy lately, and you feel like you’re having to choose to say no to some things.  And I’m sure that it’s easy to say no to church attendance.  I mean really, you can always go next week, right?  I know that there are weeks that there really are conflicts; soccer tournaments, out-of-town trips, and the occassional sick times.  But in all honesty and with as much sincerity as I can muster, what do you have going on a Sunday morning that takes priority over worship?

Let me be your cheerleader for a moment:  You can get here to church more regularly! You can get there, I know you can!  And I’d like to encourage you to make it more of a priority.  But why should you?

1. The Bible Says So. // That is always a great fall-back, huh?  Seriously, you should read some of what Hebrews, Romans, and James says about the matter.  It’s important to be in church, period.  The church was and is a part of God’s great Rescue Plan to introduce Jesus to the world.  It also exists to helps us grow, learn, and give to a community of people all seeking the same things.  You knew I’d say this one, right?
2. You need to establish good habits with your kid early on. // I’ve rarely met a person that attends church once-a-month that would say that they want their children to grow up and NOT attend church.  It’s quite simple really, if you want your kids to grow up and be a part of a community of believers (church), it’s in your best interest to attend one yourself.  Make it a priority for your family, and your kids will learn that it’s a vital part of their walk with God.
3. Without regular attendance you miss the mentoring and relationship benefit of Children’s Ministry. // This same principle applies to every area of the church, but let’s talk about your kids for right now.  One of the best benefits of taking your kid to a thriving ministry for Children is that they get to know other kids learning about God’s Best for their lives, and the adult leaders leading these areas.  If you attend inconsistently, you are greatly diminishing the chance for one of our fantastic Small Group Leaders or Classroom Teachers to make an impact on your child’s life.  Trust me, it’s so important that your kid hear the same things you tell them coming from a different voice.

It’s obvious, in that you sometimes attend, that you do indeed value what church means in your life, and what it can mean to your kids as you are walking this journey of parenting them.  Now it’s time to make it more of a priority, and start getting involved.  It starts with being here consistently, then we can happily start finding places for you to serve in this wonderful family called “The Body of Christ.”

Sincerely,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Children’s Pastor