The most surprising thing I have learned about insecurity is that insecurity makes you selfish and self-focused. Ironically it is the opposite of what I thought I was. I thought I was being sensitive to the needs and perceptions of others, but I was only sensitive to others because of how it impacted me. If my boss didn’t praise me for a project, I assumed that I must have done something wrong. Never mind that he might have a hundred other priorities that day. The fact that he didn’t take the time to praise me must mean that I had done something wrong. If a friend didn’t return my phone call, she must be upset with me. It couldn’t be because she had an insanely busy day and didn’t have a chance to call me back.
The goal of insecurity is to keep us fixated on ourselves, wallowing in our “I am not enough” fears.