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Being Yourself Before God

June 4, 2009 in Bible, Ministry, Personal with 1 Comment

Praying HandsOne of my responsibilities as a Children’s Pastor, and more importantly as a parent, is to make sure my kids don’t learn unintentionally incorrect things about God, spirituality, and faith.  While working to teach my kids to pray, make life-giving choices, submit to their parents, and read and love God’s Word; I can also unintentionally teach the wrong things.

“I Can’t Be Myself When Talking to God”

This is a big one.  We all do it.  Out of a desire to teach our kids to “respect” God and be reverent, we all to often run the risk of demonstrating to our children that when we talk to God we can’t be ourselves.  You know you do it, right?  You suddenly change your posture, tone of voice, and countenance.  You transform yourself from a charismatic individual into someone reading an eulogy.  I’ve seen the most exciting small group leaders at my church suddenly take on the grave prayer voice more than once.  For goodness sakes, when talking to God you should be yourself!  Now, don’t get me wrong.  It’s important to be respectful, but shouldn’t you be respectful even when being yourself?

This takes on a dangerous tone when you do this around children, because without even trying to you’ve just demonstrated to your kids that you become something you’re NOT when talking to God.  You’ve just communicated to your kids that who you really are, isn’t who God really wants to talk to.  You’ve just demonstrated the greatest of christian-ese skills, garnered over the past two centuries…being two-faced.  I think Jesus may have even addressed this…

So what should you do?  It’s simple really.  Just be yourself when talking to God.  When you’re praying in front of the kids at church or your own kids when you tuck them into bed at night, talk excitedly of what Jesus has done for you, talk expectantly of what God is allowing you to be a part of, talk hopefully of what God is helping you to conquer at the moment, and talk appreciately of who God has placed into your lives.  Don’t miss the valuable opportunity to teach your kids that getting the attention of the Creator of the Universe is one of the great privileges of living on earth!

So are you guilty?  Do you even pray around your kids?  Have you brought out the funeral prayer voice, instead of just talking to God?

What Online Collaboration is NOT

May 28, 2009 in Ministry with 3 Comments

It’s been well documented by myself (HERE and HERE) and others (HERE and HERE) that collaborating with others has forever altered the way I work as a Children’s Pastor.  These silly things we call emails, blogs, twitters, and even facebook to a degree (and it pains me to say that last one) has opened a world to me that I never knew existed.  To live life and to do ministry without the connections I’ve made with people from all different walks of life and areas of the world, would be a lonely existence.  That’s not to discount the greatness of those I live my life with on a daily basis here on the dusty South Plains of Lubbock, but the addition of these ‘online relationships’ if you will as made every relationship just a little bit healthier.

Because this has been well documented in my life over the past year I get asked often how it’s done.  I’m asked by those on staff at my church, by those DM’s on twitter(you know who you are), and even occasionally over lunch with a friendly neighborhood pastor.  What’s my answer for how to start those meaningful collaborative relationships?

First, let’s start with what Collaboration is and what it is NOT.  Collaboration by definition is “the action of working with someone to produce or create something.”  Collaboration is NOT getting together to compare and contrast differences between ministries, churches, and individuals.  Those things will all eventually become part of the discussion, but until they do it’s important that when “bouncing ideas off someone” or asking for “honest opinions” that we work to fulfill the definition of collaboration.

Are we working together to produce or create something?

When approaching someone to seek guidance on how they use the same curriculum you use, or how they manage check-in, or how they support their volunteers…it is important to NOT go right to the defensive questions.  What are the defensive questions?  So glad you asked…

Numbers: Here are some of my favorite number questions, “How big is your church?”  “So, how many kids are you running?”, or my favorite, “How many services to you guys do?” These are decent questions, but they don’t address the idea of working together.  They are asked simply to size up someone.  The beauty of collaboration, remember…working to produce or create something…isn’t based on how closely alike you are; but instead on what you could possibly create together.

Sympathy: It’s great to find a sympathetic ear to our troubles, but if we’re not careful we can begin to tread into dangerous areas. First, it’s a HUGE turnoff to try and meet up with someone and find out that their life basically sucks and their church leadership is unappreciative of their work.  Secondly, it’s simply not life-giving.  We’re called to serve God, but we are also called to serve God through our Senior Pastor’s vision.  To remember that can keep you out of a world of hurt.

Theology: The beauty of Children’s and Youth ministries is that Theology can sometimes take a back seat to the bigger issues of connecting families to the church (and back to each other.)  Let sleeping dogs lay, and leave the theology for further along in your relationship.  It’s valuable to eventually find those laying the same theological groundwork you wish to lay, but it’s not vital to “producing and creating something.”

It’s great to find someone working in the same demographic, or to find someone working with as many kids as you are; but nobody is going to be exactly like you so learn to find those who aren’t.  The real beauty of collaboration is that you are working with others.  Learn to be unselfish with your ideas, creativity, and vision.  Let others experience what God’s put inside you, and learn to listen to what he’s doing for others.

To see this TALK given in a much longer format, watch the video HERE!

Volunteers Attracting Volunteers

May 22, 2009 in Ministry with 1 Comment

This week I’m reposting some thoughts I had around this same time last year.  I’m really hoping I can get some comments, and would love to hear if anything resonates with you:

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I promise this will be the last boring question post for a while. Monday we tackled #1, and Wednesday got no comments on #2.

So the third question is:
How do I get volunteers to help in the recruiting other volunteers?

The burden that many assume I carry alone as the ‘Children’s Pastor’ is to recruit workers. It is in fact a BIG part of my job, and one that mostly I enjoy. However, I’ve learned in 5 years of Children’s Ministry that the most effective recruiters are my volunteer leaders. There is something about the CP asking someone to volunteer that can seem intimidating or self-serving on my part, but when a person who is asked to come on board and be a part of the team is asked by an existing, contributing volunteer it can make a much deeper impact. History has shown that some of my best volunteers are those recruited by current volunteers.

The main way that I try and get this accomplished, is by how I respond to my existing volunteers. Quite often I have someone on my ministry approach me and say, “Pastor Jonathan, could you get me someone to help assist in my classroom?” I tell them that I will indeed start looking, but then tell them that there is nobody more qualified to find an assistant than them. They are in constant interaction with the families bringing children, they can better describe what they need help with in their area of ministry, and they have a ‘calling’ to these particular age group of kids that I might not have. When I ask them if they’ve asked anyone to assist them, they usually respond with “NO.” Hmmm, I wonder why they don’t have any help?

There is a great post on getting volunteers that I found at the Access Elevation Church Blog. It’s a great thought on all the things I’ve spoken about this week.

Making it Easy To Leave

May 20, 2009 in Ministry with 2 Comments

This week I’m reposting some thoughts I had around this same time last year.  I’m really hoping I can get some comments, and would love to hear if anything resonates with you:

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Yesterday I asked the question:
First Question: How do I get current volunteers to recruit their own replacements?

I got moderate response to the question, but I’d love more. Today I’d like to tackle an issue that I see constantly amongst my volunteer workforce.

Second Question: How do I make it easy for people to leave my ministry?

Let me explain. I don’t want my volunteers to leave. I love and appreciate their time investment in my area of service. But at the same time I don’t want them to feel like working with me is a death sentence. There are other things in the church, or outside the church for that matter, that people might find fulfilling. There I said it. It’s true. What they do for me, or my area of ministry, isn’t the most important thing in the entire world. So how do I consistently make people feel like they could comfortably leave if they felt called to something else?

I think the biggest factor to creating this kind of environment, is to encourage participation in other areas of the church. I also go to great lengths to praise other areas, and celebrate success in other areas of the church. I also think that just having a healthy environment for my workers to exist in will eliminate the bondage to my ministry.

I have spoken with a family recently that feels held hostage to the class they teach. They aren’t happy with what they do, but feel that if they leave the class will only get worse. They’ve been tricked into believing that they can’t leave. Changes will be made soon, whether they like it or not.

Let the comments fly!

Volunteers that Replace Themselves

May 18, 2009 in Ministry with 8 Comments

This week I’m reposting some thoughts I had around this same time last year.  I’m really hoping I can get some comments, and would love to hear if anything resonates with you:

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I’ve been experiencing a difficult season in regards to getting those involved in serving. It’s always a challenge in church ministry, and specifically Children’s ministry to get people involved in serving. I mean ALWAYS a challenge. Even when people are getting plugged in to the ministry in big numbers, I could always use a few dozen more. It’s the nature of the beast.

However, this past month I’ve seen an exodus of volunteers. Most of them for perfectly decent reasons, and I’ve celebrated their leaving with style, class, and grace. It’s just that I haven’t seen the replacements come in the timing I would prefer. In the spirit of this challenge I would like to get some opinions from these great readers of mine. For the next few days I’ll throw out a question and see how much knowledge (or lack thereof) I can gain.

First Question: How do I get current volunteers to recruit their own replacements?

I have always strived to make my leaders take ownership in the areas that they serve. I figure that they know their class/area/age group better than I do in most cases, and their opinion is of high value to me as the leader. When someone approaches me about leaving, moving on, or transitioning to a different area of service the first thing I say (after thanking them for their bravery) to them is, “Do you have anyone who has been working alongside you that may be able to step in and take over your class?” or, “Could you pass along some contact information for someone who might be interested in taking your place?” or “Better yet, could you contact someone who you think might make a great replacement for your class?”

I’m amazed sometimes at how a volunteer will invest a year of their life working with a collection of kids, and then leave with a customary 4 week notice; and never seem to give a thought to who will be taking their place. Isn’t this weird? Of course I know that I have a slanted perspective, being the department leader.

So again let me pose the question: How could I get current volunteers to recruit their own replacements?

I’m expecting some comments, let them fly! I’d love comments from those inside and outside of ‘church’ ministries. Give me some different perspectives!

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