Are you a nice person? Are you an encourager? Do people want to be in your presence?
Are you a jerk? Do you push people away with insulting behavior and a lack of respect?
There is great power and influence in simply being a nice person. Of course you could lead by demanding and pushing out those that resist, but then you will probably end up working in a different place than the local church…right? Unfortunately, this isn’t the case; and I’ve had my fair share of “What are they thinking?” moments with supervisors and pastors I’ve worked for in the church. But when you make a decision to be a nicer person to those around you, you will open doors of opportunity to truly impact people around you with your vision for where you want to go!
There are probably 1,000 things that could help you be nicer to those around you, but have you considered these?
- Have someone over for dinner.
- Take someone to coffee.
- Write a thank you note.
- Send an unwarranted mobile text saying thank you.
- Smile at people.
- Stop complaining in the presence of others.
- Stop conversations that are turning negative.
- Compliment someones shoes.
- Give people time to answer the question, “How are you doing?”
- Be intentional about getting to know people.
- Be generous with your time.
- Open your life up for others to see.
- Make eye contact when listening to someone.
- Talk to children. Really, really talk to them.
- Introduce your spouse to new people.
- Have a firm handshake and offer your hand to strangers.
- Don’t brag about yourself.
- Wear deodorant and brush your teeth.
- Speak complimentary of your superiors and bosses.
- Praise good things in others.
- Laugh often.
- Don’t laugh when it’s not appropriate.
- Ask forgiveness when it’s needed.
- Be quick to pray for people when they open up about a need.
- Listen well, Talk less.
And most importantly, just try to be nice. I can promise that if you intentionally set out to be a nicer person, it will happen. People are much more gracious than you would imagine, and there is room for bad days here and there. The power of forgiveness compliments this so well!
When we strive to be a person that is concerned for others, then we can become an influencer of people. When you influence people, you can help lead others through life change! The power to influence others may be the greatest power given to us, and it all starts with learning to NOT be a jerk!
I’m a small group leader and a parent. Actually I’m a parent first.
Maybe I should rewrite that first statement.
As a parent, I love nothing more than to see my kid receive attention from adults that mean them well and want to see them succeed. But selfishly, I love a small group leader that can do that while making me look good in front of my kids.
I don’t want a small group leader that is a “better voice” for my kids, I want one that is “another voice” for my kids. As small group leaders learn to embrace the role as an accompanying voice in the life of my kid, the more value my own voice has in my kids life.
Read the rest of my contribution at the Lead Small blog at: http://leadsmall.org/elementary/making-a-parent-look-good/
As a Small Group you leader you need to have the ability to get kids to open up to you. We need to feel pretty confident that we can get any kid, anywhere, in most any circumstance to talk with us. You may be thinking, “I just wish I could get my kids to STOP talking so much!” But I’m not talking about the kids you know, I m talking about those first time kids that come into our group, or maybe the kid in the checkout line at Wal-Mart (of course in public make sure you don’t creep the parents out and be sure to invite them to your church).
Are there things you can do to get any kid to talk to you? Yes you can, and here are a few tricks. Feel free to put them to the test, and I guarantee you that you will get a positive response.
The Nickname Method: Simply ask them if they have a nickname. This worked fabulously when I worked with more inner city kids, because they ALL had nicknames! But even out here in the the nether regions of West Texas I ve found that kids love to share nicknames. Maybe they have a name that their mom calls them, or something their friends joke with them about. Kids love nicknames. If they don t have one, then you can offer them some suggestions. It s an instant ice-breaker!
Read the rest of my contribution at the Lead Small blog at: http://leadsmall.org/elementary/getting-the-new-kid-to-open-up/
I’m a father and I’m learning. I’m learning that signing my son up for baseball means I get to sit outside in the freezing cold March nights. I’m learning that my daughter will talk about her favorite songs for hours on end. I’m learning that what my kids hear at church isn’t necessarily easy for them to do right away. I’m learning that my children are a much greater challenge to me than my job as a leader of children’s ministries.
I’m also a pastor and I’m learning. I’m learning that setting things on fire in a building with sensitive smoke detectors is not a great idea. I’m learning that glitter is the archenemy of our custodial staff. I’m more importantly learning the best of intentions does not guarantee a real connection with my families. I’m learning that children are the most important people in the lives of their parents. I’m learning that what I teach kids at church is second in importance to what parents teach their children at home.
We’ve all been there. We start working with kids, because we love the kids. We love teaching them new things about God. We love hearing them discover new ways of understanding God’s plan for their lives. Then, we realize that it’s much more fruitful to pour equal amounts of energy into the people these kids we love so much live with. That’s when we hit the proverbial family ministry wall. All that work you’ve been doing to connect families to your church could be for naught. The parents aren’t doing it at home. Your materials are top notch, they’re shiny, and they’re perfectly designed for parents … you think.
Read more from this article that originally appeared in Kidzmatter Magazine March/April 2014 at: http://kidzmatter.com/helping-every-parent-take-a-next-step-from-ideology-towards-practicality
Get some great deals during Deal Week.
August 18–22 is the first ever Orange Books Deal Week. For five days, you can take advantage of five different special offers on select Orange Books: messages (including something new from Jon Acuff), subscriptions, and resources designed to inspire and help you grow your ministry. For details about the Deals—and the Prizes you could win just for posting the Deals—keep reading. To be updated about special offers like these from Orange Books, sign up on the home page of OrangeBooks.com.
What’s better than a good read? A good read for a good deal.
Orange Books Deal Week
This week, August 18–22, Orange will be offering special deals for Orange Books. That’s right! If you buy select titles of the available Orange Books this week, you’ll get free bonuses like:
- breakouts from Orange Conference 2014,
- materials for small group leader training,
- materials for a parent and volunteer workshop, and
- tickets to this year’s Orange Tour.
Learn more about the deals available now.
Sample Their Newest Books for Free Today
Find the right book for you, and sample each of our latest books, by clicking the links below. Then, head over to OrangeBooks.com and find a great deal for yourself or your team members.
Some things you need to know
*You must buy on August 18–22, 2014, in order to get the Deals.
*You can post from now until August 22, 2014, in order to win a Prize.
*You must claim your Deal by August 27, 2014, by filling out the Claim form.
*You may buy from Orange, Apple, or Amazon unless otherwise noted below.