The Infographic Friday Bag

Friday Family Summer Bag

 

What Music Should you Listen to While Working (INFOGRAPHIC) - “This infographic can help you evaluate what music varieties would work best with your particular job. Of course, if you hate the type of music it recommends, you can always try to find something else.”

It’s Alive! How Social Media Monster Can Destroy Productivity (INFOGRAPHIC) -   “Microsoft looked into the impact that social channels such as Twitter and Facebook make to our productivity, and determined that these platforms lead to an average of four interruptions per hour, and that it then takes the average worker 23 minutes to get back to their assigned task.”

How We Shop in 2013 (INFOGRAPHIC) – “To get a detailed play-by-play on social media and its impact on e-commerce growth, check out the following infographic, How We Shop in 2013: The Growth of Ecommerce Marketing.  

An in the spirit of all this social media conversation, how about some real life conversation? SoulPancake hits the streets to see what happens when two strangers sit in a ball pit… and talk about life’s big questions.

 

Moms and their Sons

So. I’m reading  a book  right now about raising adolescents.  (Gulp.)  My oldest is 11, and just entering the sometimes angst-filled, pre-teen stage. I know our relationship will change quickly over the next few years.  He will be reaching for  independence  faster than I am sometimes willing to grant it, and that’s sure to bring some conflict.  But in the midst of that natural tug-of-war for control, I also want those years to be filled with laughs, kindness, love, and respect. So knowing teenage-dom is on the near horizon, I am starting to prepare now.  How?

I am working on building a  real relationship  with my son.  “Of course” you might be thinking. “Who doesn’t have a relationship with their kid?” Unfortunately, in the day to day hectic pace of life, sometimes the relationship can be limited to discussion around chores, dinner, sleepover requests, and baseball schedules.  It’s not fun to admit, but I can easily let a week or more pass before it hits me that I’ve had no real, meaningful connection with my son.  Without acting deliberately, there’s no connection about hopes, dreams, plans, fears, doubts.  Without intentionality, there’s no shared revelations about spirituality, and who Jesus is becoming in his life and mine.

Not to mention that to first figure out how to elicit  any  kind of conversation – meaningless or otherwise – from an 11 year old boy takes a small miracle.

So from one parent to another, here’s what I’m learning as I try to navigate relationship-building with the not-quite-a-child, but certainly-not-yet-a-man in my house.  I am an imperfect navigator, but I am the only one for the job.

Give him chances to be brave, and then celebrate his bravery.   Let him jump his skateboard off that ramp.  Allow him a chance to build a bridge over the creek, even if it doesn’t hold.  Let him swim a little farther from the lakeshore. Say yes when he asks to sleep under the stars.  He won’t admit it, but he’s watching to see if you notice.  Let him know that yes, you notice, and you are  impressed.  

Create Adventure!

Create Adventure!

Stop asking questions.  This was a piece of info I gleaned from the aforementioned book I’m reading.  Ever have the conversation with your son like this? “How was school?”  “[Grunt].”  Instead of peppering him with questions, share something from your day, tell a funny story, tell him a secret that the younger kids can’t know about yet.  Talk to him instead of questioning him, and watch him open up.  (At least a bit more.)

Create shared memories.  You don’t need money to create memories.  Don’t buy into the lie that happy childhood memories can only be created at Disneyland or on the beach.  Go camping.  Explore the woods.  Catch fireflies. Look for ways to make everyday life a little more fun. Boys are big on fun! So roll the windows down and sing along to Lecrae, even if that’s not your thing.  He will roll his eyes, and you will embarrass him at the stoplight, but the shared memories are worth it.

Enter his world.  I’m bored to tears with Minecraft, but my son will talk ad nauseam about it.  So I try and listen.  I didn’t  particularly  enjoy Rick Riordian’s Percy Jackson series of books, but to my son they are the best books ever.  So I read every one, and it gave us a point of conversation.

Celebrate his strengths.    My son loves to draw.  So I am happily his colored pencil and sketchbook provider.  I love his artwork…but I love it more when he invites me to look at his drawings with him.

The art is good.  Talking to the artist is great.

The art is good. Talking to the artist is great.

Friends, we all know the sobering statistics:  the mistakes that kids are making in their teenage years are devastating.  Research indicates that kids with strong relationships at home, where they are known, loved, and accepted, are much more likely to come through their teenage years unscathed by life-altering moral failures.   Even when we give this parenting thing our all….our children will make mistakes, some that will likely break our hearts.  But they need a safe place to land.  That place is found in strong relationships.  Start now.

 

Respecting Your Kids

respect

We want our kids to be respectful, right? Nobody has ever said while holding their baby, “I hope this little mess grows up to be a complete terror that treats adults like garbage!”

We want to hear the, “Yes ma’ams” and “Yes sirs” and “Please” and “Thank You’s” flowing from the lips of our little ones. We want to hear this, because know how important it is for our kids to respect those around them. We want them to show deference to those older than them, and we know how this helps our kids gain influence with adults.

Want to know my strategy for getting my kids to show respect to others? I show respect to them.

It begins with asking my kids to do what I do.

If I want my kids to respect others, then I must respect them. I’m not exempt from offering thanks, keeping my word, being on time, and saying please when appropriate. I don’t say “Yes sir” to my kids, but I try to never let a good thing go unthanked. I always say please, even if it’s not a question and more of a parental command.

Sounds so obvious, doesn’t it? Yet when I listen to parents talk to their children there is an alarming lack of respect towards their kids. Be warned parents, those kids you show little respect for will someday be as tall as you! Set the tone from an early age, and start fighting for the relationship with your kids when they still think what you say is golden.

 

Another Friday Bag of Internet Wisdom

 

Each Friday I share some of what I’ve found interesting on the Internet in the prior week. I read the Internet, I know, I know…it makes me stupid. On this Friday, enjoy the Internet I’ve found for you.

The Friday Bag

The Separation of Church and Hate (VIDEO) -   “Are we making a point or making a difference? It’s easier to make a point; to adopt a policy; to put up a billboard or hand out a pamphlet. Making a difference is messier. It requires relating to people with whom you may not agree. But that is what Jesus modeled. In this message, Andy shows us why relational evangelism – despite being more complicated and despite looking inconsistent at times – is what we were called to as a church.”

30 Bits of Commencement Wisdom for the Class of 2013 -    “It s graduation season, and that means platitudes are parading out the mouths of notable speakers everywhere.  Every year, speakers spew the same old sayings: Never give up! Embrace failure! Be passionate! Here s a look at speakers who said things a little differently this year.”

Daniel Dennett’s Seven Tools for Thinking -   “Cognitive scientist and philosopher Daniel Dennett is one of America’s foremost thinkers. In this extract from his new book, he reveals some of the lessons life has taught him.”

100 year old Never-before-seen photos tell gritty story of NYC -   “Almost a million images of New York and its municipal operations have been made public for the first time on the internet.”

The War on Sleep -  “There’s a military arms race to build soldiers who fight without fatigue.”

 

 

 

 

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