Knowing When to Move On

knowingwhentomoveon

“Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough. Sometimes you have to give up the fight and walk away, and move on to something that’s more productive.”

— Donald Trump, entrepreneur, television personality and author.

Donald Trump is not a voice that many parents pay much attention to, but his reputation is much more valued in the business world. I think that much of what he’s saying with this quote applies to us as parents, as much as it’s intended audience of business leaders.

As parents, we hate see our kids struggle to do the things we’re asking them to do. We hate losing and we keep fighting until they do it the ‘right way.’  Too many times we are guilty of continuing to raise the expectations with our kids on the things they struggle with the most. But not every fight is worth the time. The key is to try and remember the big story being written throughout your kids life.

Accepting the reality that they are not great at math may be hard for some of us. It may be hard to admit that your middle kid isn’t the reader that his big brother is, or maybe you’re dealing with that left-handed kid that hates baseball. I’m not suggesting you throw in the towel with your kids progress. I’m suggesting that you evaluate how important what you’re expecting them to do really is. If you’re kid struggles to tell the truth…then keep fighting for honesty. However, if they struggle with something inconsequential, then walk away from what’s not working and find something that could be more productive for their life.

Discover a new talent that maybe doesn’t come as natural to you, but comes seamlessly to him or her. Find those few things that your kid is great at, and jump on that bandwagon. Learn to parent from a perseverance perspective, and step out of the stubborness.

 

I’ve learned that there’s a big difference between perseverance and stubbornness. Stubbornness involves me forcing things to work, while perseverance requires me to work consistently with what’s already working. Some of the best decisions I’ve made involved saying no to a potential partnership or pulling the plug on a product that wasn’t working.

Read more:  http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/227288#ixzz2Z8aIV9XP

Making Community Matter

GroupsMatter

I’m an advocate of making our big churches smaller by focusing on the circles we live in, not the rows we sit in. I also  I think it’s a great thing for my children to see me in meaningful community with others.

It’s a responsibility of mine to work hard to make this big world, as small as possible for my kids. I want them to see that I value my relationships with others, I want them to hear me on the phone with a friend, I want them to know that on Wednesday nights we leave them with a sitter because Wednesday nights is OUR night with our community group. I need them to know that I need relationships with others.

I’ll admit, this has been a struggle for us over the years. So often, community fell to the side because my job had me working 8 days a week. Our relationships would cycle up and down like the weather; a few friends here and there. Having just recently established the principle of sharing our lives with others, we’ve seen the benefit of our kids have gained.

 

They value their own group time talking with people they trust. They have a small group time at church, and now they see their parents doing much of what they are doing each week.

 

They regularly interact with adults and other families because of our relationships discovered in community. They meet new people, and expand their own relationships because of our relationships.

 

These are just a few of the ways that community in front of my kids has proven to be important in our family. Today, I’m choosing to make community matter by living community out in front of my kids.

 

Friday Bag: Videos that Have my Attention

Friday Family Summer Bag

I’ll be the first to admit that my attention is often gained by inconsequential happenings (SEE: Baseball. Texas Rangers.), but this week my mind has been interrupted by the following fun:

The Pixar Theory: Every Character Lives in the Same Universe //  Jon Negroni spent one year untangling the secret world hidden deep within Pixar films. This thesis originally appeared on  his personal blog  and quickly became a viral sensation. Negroni continues to update his post based on interesting feedback from readers.

 

Room 8. For a short film contest called The Imagination Series, participants are given a script and nothing else — no character or set descriptions and no stage direction — which they then use to create any story they can come up with. This video is fun, creative, and wildly entertaining.

Bear Safety Video. Seriously, this woman does this. Who doesn’t love a crazy news reporter? WARNING: Don’t have food in your mouth when you watch this.

FREE D6 Conference Ticket Giveaway

D6 Louisville

I’ve got two FREE tickets to the D6 Conference in Louisville, Kentucky. The conference is October 16-18, 2013 at the Galt House in Louisville. See how to win tickets by entering the contest below!  These are for real $289 face value for each!  

After making Dallas its home for four years, the D6 Conference is expanding to two locations in 2013. The two-day format in Louisville offers a broad overview of the family ministry movement, while PreCon Labs the day before allows attendees to focus on particular ministry or family needs.

Think of D6 Louisville as a Family Ministry Expo where leading voices of Family Ministry will unpack how-tos of implementing generational discipleship. Get ready for a high-energy event packed full of amazing worship, engaging activities, and dynamic communicators.


 

 

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Living What I Say

what-we-are

I’ve found it. After years of looking for the perfect way to teach our kids the most important things in life, I believe I’ve found it. It’s not totally foolproof, as our kids still have their own decisions to ultimately make (that’s it’s own blog post). However, the secret for parenting with some semblance of authority on the things we want from our kids is this:

Do what you are asking them to do.  

Internet Safety. Want your kids to make great decisions when it comes to the Internet? Then put the same guardrails in place for them that you live with. The exact same. It’s not near as strange for my kids to have me look through their email accounts, when they know my wife has the same rights to my email account.

Accountability to where I am.  Want your kids to let you know where they are at all times? Then remind them that somebody always knows where I am. I don’t disappear for hours at a time, I live accountable to my job and to my wife.

Responsibility to work. I want them to work hard, so I make sure my kids see that I leave for work on time, and work hard while I’m there. Side note: I also show them healthy working habits.

Healthy relationships. In my house, this is communicated by letting my kids see the importance of our personal community group. These are the 4 other couples that we meet with every week throughout the year. It’s priority to have the right kinds of friends, so I demonstrate this in front of my kids.

Asking forgiveness. This is easy. I mess up enough that this gets demonstrated often in front of my kids. The secret lays in consistency and learning from my mistakes.

It really goes on and on and on and on…

 

Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them. – James Baldwin