Tag Archive - kids

13 Years on the 13th

June 13, 2011 in Personal with 2 Comments

Today we celebrate 13 years together. There is so much that I’ve learned in the past 13 years as it relates to living with and loving this woman that is my wife. Here are 13 Things I’ve learned over the past 13 years with my wife.

  1. Wouldn’t want to share a bathroom with anyone else. Even if I only get 10% of the counter space for myself.
  2. Laundry will just not ever be caught up with. Ain’t gonna happen, but I don’t mind at all.
  3. Being right is overrated. Being civil isn’t.
  4. It’s always more fun with her there, and always more lonely when she’s gone.
  5. A surprise Diet Coke in a big cup will always make her day better.
  6. Sitting quietly through girl movies is always better than making fun of them loudly.
  7. A small gesture means a lot with 3 (and sometimes 4) kids in the house.
  8. Funny things are more funny when she’s laughing with me.
  9. She will always laugh first when I’ve hurt myself in an accident. I’m learning to accept this unique way of dealing with bodily harm.
  10. Asking forgiveness is the greatest marital tool in the marriage toolbox.
  11. Holding hands is always worth the inconvenience of a sweaty palm.
  12. Having her to talk with me through life’s changes and ups and downs; is one of my favorite things about her.
  13. The ability to count years and years that we’ve been together is something I’ll always treasure!

Whippersnappers, Listen Up!

June 9, 2011 in Personal with 4 Comments

Let me say that I’m not a person that is tormented by regrets.  I live virtually a regret-free life, but that isn’t to say there aren’t things I wish I knew when I was 20.  As the mid-30′s guy in a group of many friends in their 20′s these are the things I want to sit down and say as nicely as possible as I watch them set the course for their own lives:

  • Stop trying to make yourself important by making others feel less so.  You don’t make your candle shine brighter by blowing someone else out!  It just doesn’t work, eventually you just end up looking stupid and judgmental.  I say that as a perpetrator, promise.
  • Influence isn’t gained by only listening to those with status.  It’s gained by listening to people from all different areas of life.  The big-business guy making millions can definitely speak life into areas of your life, but so can the guy scraping by on pennies in order to live life at the pace he chooses.
  • Take a vacation!  I do regret not getting away more when I was younger.  Start the tradition of making time for yourself and your family a priority NOW!
  • Save more money.  Of all the stupid decisions I made in my 20′s the ones that still haunt me darkly are the ones involving dumb money decisions.  Save money, save money, save money; and what you spend you should spend wisely.
  • Get comfortable with change.  There is something in our 20′s that desires stability, and this is a good thing; but be willing to always adapt, upgrade, and change life goals as needed.
  • Be bold.  Yes, you are in your 20′s and your not as far along as others.  Yes, you need to be patient and move slowly at times to help those older than you adjust to your pace.  Yes, you don’t have the experience that others have.  BUT, you have passion, ideas, creativity, heart, and energy that your environment needs.  Be BOLD!
  • Ask questions and then take the time to listen for the answer. I wish that I had talked less and asked more questions.  If you have young kids, then ask questions of the guy with older kids.  If you aren’t married, ask questions of the married guy.  You get the point?  Ask and listen, ask and listen, ask and listen?

So here’s what I’d like to hear.  Anybody out there share my age and perspective?  What would you add?

And any mid 40, 50, and 60 year old’s out there that would like to teach this young whippersnapper a thing or two?  Have at it, I’m all ears!

 

5 Ways of Recognizing Stress

June 2, 2011 in Ministry, Personal with 0 Comments

I’m not somebody that’s ever considered myself stressed very easily.  I’m not claiming to never feel stressed, but normally my brain operation is fine (meaning I rarely feel stressed internally); but I do show signs of stress in my body. At the not yet old age of 35…I’m learning the tell-tale signs of knowing I’m stressed.  Here are 5 ways I’ve learned to recognize Stress in my life!

  • I stop sleeping.  This one is easy, but often after 3 or 4 nights of sleepless chaos I will realize that maybe I’m giving way to much thought to a particular issue or situation.  Crazy that it takes me 3 or 4 nights to come to this conclusion, huh?
  • Headaches.  Sometimes I’m sleeping well enough, but then I’ll be tortured for a few days with terrible come-and-go headaches.  I’m always able to push through to a certain extent, but the feeling of a ticking time bomb in your head is no way to live.
  • I start drinking.  Now, now…I’m not talking the dizzy-inducing variety of tonic.  I’m speaking of the caffeinated variety.  There are days that 3 or 4 shot espresso’s will not placate my body, and I’ll grab multiple cans of soda at work and still am looking for more caffeine.  Simply put, when I’m refreshed and energized then one cup of coffee in the morning will always suffice.
  • I snap uncharacteristically.  When I’m stressed, I’ll find myself going to bed each night thinking through the list of people I owe an apology to from the day of my overreacting and biting peoples heads off.  Oh wait, am I the only one?  Sorry.
  • I isolate myself.  When stressed, I withdraw as much as humanely possible.  In a home with 4 kids, this is nearly impossible…but I’ll find myself getting angry that I never have enough alone time; when I really do.

So these are a few of my signs of stress.  When I notice myself living out of these paradigms, then it’s time to evaluate.  And evaluate we will…on the next post!

So heres the question: How do you recognize stress in your life?  How long does it usually take you to realize that stress is overtaking parts of your life that it shouldn’t?

5 Things that Stress Me Out

May 31, 2011 in Ministry, Personal with 4 Comments

I was talking to someone the other day about job-related stress; and as I listened to them go on and on about how hard their job is and how stressful it was for them to work with certain people something dawned on me.  I realized that often when it comes to my role here at the church, I don’t really carry a ton of stress.  I’m not saying that church-work is stress free, but that I’ve learned to manage work related stress easier than other kinds of stress.

I can remember stressing out in a major way about big upcoming church events, or meeting with certain people on my staff and dreading every interaction and potential failure.  However, I really don’t stress about it too much anymore.  I would say that maybe I’ve learned that some things will work themselves out, and many of the dramas associated with church and ministry will work them selves out just fine without me stressing out over them.

So what do I stress out about? That’s a question I walked away from the above conversation thinking through… and here are 5 things I came up with:

  • My wife stresses me out.  Now hold your horses before you go jumping to conclusions, my wife is a terrific person and does nothing in and of herself to purposefully stress me out.  What I mean is that if things are not right between us, it stresses me out.  I need the two of us to be on the same page on 90% of what’s happening in our lives, or I will feel massive amounts of stress.
  • My kids super-stress me out.  Now here I’ll hold nothing back, plain and simply they stress me out.  They yell when they should be quiet, then don’t always do as they’re told, they leave little things on the floor for me to step on when I have my shoes off, and they rarely act considerate in any way.  But of course they’re kids, so what can they do about any of that?  I’m not saying it ruins my day, but if I don’t have the right perspective when I get home…my kids will stress me out.
  • My future stresses me out.  I don’t always like this “not knowing” part of life, and it can stress me out occasionally.
  • Money stresses me out.  Not the “how will I ever spend this much” kind of stress, but the “I need more of this” kind of money stress.  I’m getting better, but honestly it has a tendency to stress me out.
  • Work.  I know I said earlier that work doesn’t stress me out a ton, but I’d be lying if I said it NEVER stresses me out.  Particularly the part of managing a group of diverse individuals, and wanting God’s best for them while at the same time being held accountable to God’s best for my church.  This always stresses me out the most at my work part of life.

Anything you stress about?  Or am I the only person in the entire world that carries a little bit of stress around with me?  Do share in the comment section RIGHT NOW!

What My 9 Year Old is Teaching Me

May 26, 2011 in Personal with 0 Comments

Today my oldest child, Ryan, turns 9 years old. It also happens to be his last day of the 3rd grade, and he’s suffered through another entire year of being the youngest kid in his grade. Every year it’s the same thing, “You’re only turning 9? I turn 10 next month!” He’s always a year behind everyone, but if you know Ryan at all; you’d know that he’s not that far behind in many other areas.

Ryan Cliff – A 3rd Grade Self-Portrait

Here is a list of things I’m learning from my 9 year old:

  • He’s gifted to absorb and feel. He hears things going on that many of us don’t. We jokingly call him our “emotional sponge” but that really isn’t such a bad thing now, is it?
  • He’s always been the most thoughtful of kids. He will go out of his way to encourage someone, and many times we find out about what he’s done days and weeks later. I think he gets much of this from his entire family, but he’s a great representative of the Cliff Family home when he’s not in it. I never worry about him NOT saying thank you or failing to apologize when it’s called for.
  • He’s not boastful, which makes him different immediately from many of his 9 and 10 year old peers. He’s not secretive about what he’s good at, he’s just concerned that what comes easy to him will alienate those that aren’t good at the same things.
  • He listens first, and speaks second. I’m learning that this is oftentimes the best way to react and live.
  • He’s creative. Don’t believe me? Well, you should see the things he makes out of our trash. There are very few pieces of paper that haven’t been cut, folded, and painted into some sort of magical object (or weapon.)
  • He learns. I know everyone says that their kid ask tons of questions, and Ryan definitely does ask questions. However, he doesn’t ask to be cute or to prolong conversations anymore. He ask questions to learn. He’s always learning, evaluating, and preparing for something new and different.

I’m a proud parent of the qualities I see in my now 9 year old, and the thought that at 9 years old we’ve reached the 1/2 way point of his time under my roof is jarring. However, I’ve never been more excited for the future of my oldest kid than I am today. He’s well on his way to knowing Jesus in new and profound ways, and I’m glad that we still have the rest of our lives to watch him grow into the man of God that I’ve always prayed he would become.
Happy Birthday Ryan!

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