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Consider Tomorrow

February 27, 2013 — Leave a comment

Ever think about tomorrow? Of course you do, but do you ever think about somebody else’s tomorrow? When we have families, kids, students, and anyone else visit our church it’s always worth it to think about Thursday afternoon. Why Thursday? Because that’s where real life is lived, on the lazy afternoon of a normal weekday. It’s so often overlooked, but it’s always worth looking at the entire week of those that visit our churches.

How?

Follow a parent on Twitter, or Facebook, or LinkedIN.

Send the mother an email, and ask some questions.

Put a pen to paper and mail a postcard…to the 8 year old.

Capture your most witty and encouraging sentence and text it to the teenager that visited.

Buy them a helpful app on iTunes and email it to them.

This is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to connecting with those that visit our churches, but it’s an iceberg worth tackling. If it’s warm cookies that the purple hairs bring to the house, or the senior pastor that follows up with a phone call. It’s all fair game when we attempt to connect a Sunday experience with a Thursday afternoon.

In Ministry church, iTunes, kids, parents, pastor

Affirm the Parent

February 25, 2013 — 2 Comments

We can create relevant environments and put our leaders in the best possible position to start relationships, but it’s imperative to remember that for all our children and many of our teenagers, it’s the parent that brings them to church. Here are 10 ways to affirm parents that attend your church each week:

Tell them you’re glad they are there.
Smile.
Find something (anything) to encourage them with.
Tell them their family is beautiful.
Help them find their way around.
Remember their kids name.
Smile.
Make everything secure and safe, but keep it friendly. (See #2 and #7)
Help them look awesome in front of their kids.
How about just saying, “I am so glad you chose to bring your kids to {insert church name} this weekend. I know it’s not always easy, and I appreciate what you did.”

It’s hard to get your family to church sometimes, and ALL of those parents that attend are acceptance magnets. Give them what all of us are looking for…acceptance and affirmation.

**Image Source: http://weloveparents.org/ **

In Ministry church, family, kids, leading, parents

“Do you create a compelling place that people want to return to the next week?

The most important thing we can do to create a place people want to come back to is make sure our environment are amazing. It’s numero uno, there isn’t anything bigger, and it’s never 2nd place to anything! The environment is the place people are going. It’s the smells the smell, the sounds they hear, the things they see, and the people they interact with. It’s the parking lot, the front doors, the hallway and the classrooms.

Simply put, the environment is EVERYTHING someone experiences when they visit you. Everything. This isn’t a Children’s Ministry truth, this is a church-wide element. Here are 4 ways to make your environments better!

1. Make it Noisy. Music matters. It’s only bad if it’s missing, too loud, or too quiet. Think of grocery stores, doctors offices, and being on hold with an operator. Music calms, it’s setups something important, and it paints the walls of the mind.

2. Make it Easy. Do we make it easy for parents to get into our spaces, and do we make it quick? I’ve been in some amazingly beautiful hallways that had such an unorganized check-in process that you’d never notice how pretty those walls were. If parents can’t find where to go, and how to get there quickly, then they won’t be happy. Just think of your first time somewhere new. You want in and you want out, and you want to do both of them as fast as possible!

3. Make it Fun. A great environment should include the sound of someone laughing, and I’m not talking the evil Disney movie villain laughing. It should be a fun place to be. For you it may be a play structure, or maybe a fun bus stop bench at check-in, or video games setup somewhere. Fun alone won’t do much good, but fun can be the entry door to get kids to keep dragging their parents back to church.

4. Make it Safe. Would you like every parent to know that you love their child? Then work hard to create a safe and secure environment. Background checks, pick-up receipts, locked doors during service time, and security at every exit are just the basics. If you’re not doing these things, and more, then you’re not speaking a parents love language.

I Corinthians 9:22 To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some.

Give a Parent a Break

January 30, 2013 — 2 Comments

Many of us that work at churches are guilty of giving parents the hardest time of anyone. Don’t believe me? Well, have you ever had the following thoughts:

Why are they always so late?

I hate it when they pick their kid up early, right before the good part.

If these parents only knew how messed up their teenager was they’d get them to church more often!

Can you imagine what would happen if all these parents decided to show up on the same Sunday?

If those were my kids I would (insert really smart parenting thing here.)

Why do I even try to send them emails? They never read them.

I’m guilty, you’re guilty, and we’re all guilty together. For just a second we should consider that maybe, just maybe…it’s a HUGE win that they attempted to come. Maybe we could give parents some credit for deciding to be there, even if they decide to leave early. Maybe we could give parents some credit for trying, even if the trying seems half-hearted. Could we please stop complaining when they don’t engage us at every…single…solitary…event?

I’m learning to have enough faith in my church, my God, and myself to know that if they just keep trying; they will find it. If they can find confidence in my smile, then good for them. If they could be inspired by what I don’t say, but they know I’m thinking…then even better.

In Ministry, Personal church, HUGE, parenting, parents

A Good Sort of Envy

December 19, 2012 — Leave a comment

Anyone would tell you that a life consumed with envy and jealousy will eventually destroy you. Envy has a way of taking the insignificant and making it way more important than it should be. Jealousy creeps into our lives quietly as we look at neighbors all around us.

How do they afford that car?

Why would they spend their money on that?

But there is an envy that leads us to a better place. If we can just turn the dial up in the self-awareness areas, then these moments of passing envy can be the catalysts that change us.

“I wish I was as creative as they are.” -I love this one. If we really desired to be as creative as someone else, we’d ask them how they do it and we would spend time researching their methods and habits, and learn from their creativity. As far as I’m concerned, I’d like more creative people around me…it makes me look smarter.

“I wish I was as smart as they are.” -Again, smart is arbitrary. Is it intelligence, or is it emotional intelligence? Either way, we have been learning from the smartest for 100′s of years. Want to know how to get better financially? Listen to people that are smart with their money. Finding a truly smart person is becoming rarer and rarer in this world, so stop with they envy and instead look to learn from the bright ones.

“I wish I was as good a Mother or Father as they are.” -I can promise you that the best parents out there don’t think they are. We are all in a battle against our own selfishness, and there is nothing that will tear down your self like a few kids in the house. If there are parents you admire, then look and listen and learn. It’s changed my life simply by being brave enough to ask great parents how they do it. Be on a lookout for terrific grandparents as well, they are a wealth of knowledge.

All of that to say this: So much of our envy and jealousy is there because we wish we were something that we aren’t currently. Use those humanly built-in cues about the great traits in others as motivators to make ourselves all that we can be!

In Ministry, Personal change, learning, parents, people

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