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Child Dedication Class

October 14, 2009 in Ministry with 9 Comments

Here is a detailed recap of what the Child Dedication class looked like:

What did I teach?

I taught the Essence of Family talk that Reggie Joiner has taught many times before. You can get the entirety of the talk in the book, “Think Orange.” You can also read my thoughts on the Five Essential Parenting Skills by reading the blog posts I wrote on all five of these skills. (You do read this blog, right? Follow the links on the class description to ready along.)

The Essence of Family: At the heart of every family is a primary calling to lead a generation to the heart of a perfect, loving God. No other passage in the Bible defines the family role as clearly as Deuteronomy 6, and in this study we will challenge parents to Imagine the End in order to stay focused on the big picture, Fight for the Heart of their families by loving God with all their hearts, Make it Personal and let kids see what God is doing in their parents, Create a Rhythm so time together as a family will nurture everyday faith, and Widen the Circle and make sure kids have additional influences to guide them.

I really love this teaching because it sits somewhere between the theoretical and the practical. It’s not a bunch of to-do’s to make your kids obey, and neither is it a bunch of parenting philosophy. I also added tons of my own story to this teaching, and really worked to make it my own. I give the ReThink group and Reggie Joiner tons of credit, but I had to make it my own and fit my style.

How did I make it my own?

Before I taught a single principle, I showed off pictures of my kids. I shared my own struggles of feeling like an inadequate parent, and my own fears for the future of my children. I was intentional about making sure the parents in attendance knew that I was in this with them. I was teaching, but I wanted them to know that I was simply out in front leading. Not sharing my infinite wisdom with lesser people (not that they thought that, but I wanted us to be clear.) I think to many times we’re scared to just be honest with parents about who we really are. This is a strength for me, so I just put it out there for them all to see. Sincerity is a great asset.

What was the format?

The class started at 6:40 pm (advertised for 6:30) and ended at 8:20 pm. But I didn’t talk that entire time. I built in 4 table talk times of 5 minutes each throughout the talk. This was key for breaking up the classroom style, and letting families get to know each other well. The table talk questions were general in nature, nothing very personal or revealing. I wanted to be respectful of those that may not feel comfortable sharing. So I would teach a point, then turn it over for table talk time. They would answer questions related to the topic I had just taught. This went about 3-5 minutes each time. I had Children’s Ministry leaders spread out at each table, to make sure discussion happened. These leaders were prepped with the questions in advance, and given some direction for how to get people to open up and share. Each person had the fill-in-the-blank notes to keep along with the class materials. It was two pages, front and back. I personally hate teaching where people fill in the blanks along the way, but I wanted to make sure everyone went home with material.

What was room setup?

We had 20 families in attendance, with two people from each family in attendance. There were 7 round tables setup with the families split evenly throughout. We had coffee, water, fruit, cookies, and other snacks setup on a few banquet tables off to the side. I also had my entire Children’s Ministry staff and some key volunteers spread out at each table. They were instrumental in making this work, and I can’t give them enough credit for being awesome. I am truly blessed with a great team!

How did it end?

I assigned homework. Not the kind of homework that is turned in, but the kind of homework that the Holy Spirit convicts them to complete. I ended the class explaining that the reason I wanted two people from each family in attendance was so that they could hold each other accountable for the things they learned. Part of that accountability was to go home and think through the 5 homework questions. The questions were:

Write down your vision for your child’s future. What values, character and traits do you want active in their lives? What are your dreams and hopes for them?
How important is it to be trusted? Who are the people that you trust, and what about them do you want to emulate?
Identify the weaknesses in yourself that you want your children to avoid. What are they?
What things can you do to help create spiritual rhythms right now? Put these on your calendar today!
Who will you commit to make a part of your child’s life? Think of names and reasons why for each person.

Download: Teaching NOTES and HANDOUT.

Child Dedication Promotion

October 13, 2009 in Ministry with 1 Comment

The key to any change is to be prepared. I’ve found to be the most prepared I need to give myself ample time to get things in order. The first change I made was to cancel the dedication that was scheduled. We did this thing every 3 months, but we would be taking a 6 month break before coming in with something radically different. I needed time to drive up some momentum, and get all my ducks in a row.

Then I began to lay out the steps parents would be taking to dedicate their children. I really wanted to add some hoops for parents to jump through to dedicate their kids. That sounds bad, doesn’t it? I was prepared to give our parents incentive to attend the dedication, but I needed to see how committed they were to the process. If you will go to our child dedication site you will see these steps laid out.

#1 Listen to the Power of Influence podcast. I created the audio file to be played on the website, or downloaded in iTunes. It’s only 25 minutes of audio, and it was meant to get the wheels spinning in the brains of our parents. The podcast is from a talk I gave at Trinity Church in August 2008. In it I talk about the power of Hannah’s influence over her son, Samuel. I know it sounds pretty self-serving, but when I was looking for some audio to have parents listen to I just kept coming back to what I had already done. Sorry.

#2 Register for the class online, and agree to the pre-requisites. What were the pre-requisites? They had to listen to the previously mentioned podcast, and had to agree to attend the class with another person. That’s right. Nobody was going to be allowed to attend the class by themselves. If they were single parents, they were asked to bring grandparents along. If the father was being a jerk and wouldn’t attend, they had to invite someone they hoped might positively influence their child. I felt it was important that everyone in attendance have someone close to them hearing the same things we would cover in the class. I hope that makes sense, but I got no push-back from parents on this. They all seemed to understand.

#3 Attend the class. This sounds like the most obvious, but it was the most important. For 40+ years parents registered kids for dedication by filling out an application. Now they had to attend this short 75 minute class. If they missed the class, they would NOT be dedicating their child. If they left 30 minutes into the class, we would NOT be dedicating their child. If they showed up 30 minutes late, we would NOT be dedicating their child. My assistant called all the families on the Monday before the class reminding them of all these details.

We blitzed the church in the weeks leading up to the class. We sent 100′s of postcard-sized flyer’s home with parents of children 2 and under, promoted it on the church-wide video announcements, had posters up in all the normal church communication areas, and sent out a huge email newsletter outlining the changes and how to register. Everyone of these communication methods just teased the class, and pointed them back to the website. The website was the destination for all information.

In future posts, I will address what we used in the class and what format I taught from. Until then, I encourage you to go to http://dedication.trinitykidsplace.com and check it out our promotion!

Child Dedication Strategy

October 12, 2009 in Ministry with 2 Comments

For the entirety of my Children’s Ministry career (can you call it that?) I’ve been a part of a few different child dedication events. You’re probably familiar with the idea. This will sound very nonspiritual, but it’s basically the evangelical alternative to infant baptism. There, I said it. It’s not a holy sacrament, like communion or baptism; but it’s important nonetheless to many parents.

So what is it exactly? It’s an event where parents sign up their children to be prayed over in front of the church. I know that many churches do it differently, with many churches adding more meaning than others. Some churches do it only once a year, some do it every few months, and even some others do it every month. It’s a cute event, where babies and young children are dressed up in flowing dresses and toddler suits. I think it’s wonderful that parents want to “dedicate” their kids to the Lord, and want support from their local congregations to parent them accordingly. There are however some inherent problems with a Child Dedication.

At our church we’ve done the cattle-call method for years. Line ‘em up and pass them through. In fact, we’ve done it this way for 40+ years. It’s slightly memorable, and slightly forgettable all at the same time. It’s quite the conundrum for someone in my position. I love the idea of child dedication, but was disturbed by the lack of meaning and substance for the family.

Here’s where I’ve taken action. If you identify the moments in a parents life that they are open to opinions, help, and assistance; the weeks and months after having a baby is prime time to have an influence. There are other times as well (kids starting school, child baptism, etc..) In my case, I had the open door of Child Dedications already in place at Trinity, I just needed to add somethings to make it more meaningful.

Then about 2 years ago I met and corresponded with some friends that helped change my way thinking. (Thanks Kenny and Gina!) I listened to their spiels, read their teaching notes, bounced ideas off of them, and eventually formed something for where I’m ministering at. As a group they really challenged me to rethink the way we dedicate kids at Trinity. I then began to plant in the hearts and minds of my leaders what could happen if we changed our process. I mentioned it to people in and around our children’s ministry, and eventually I had some bites on the line. Change was going to happen.

Over the next three posts, I’ll be laying out what we’ve done at Trinity to add meaning and substance to our Child Dedication process. It isn’t a perfect plan, but I like to think of all that we’ve done as step #1 in a bigger plan to see parents awakened to their spiritual responsibility in the home. Remember, baby steps are still steps.

My Occasional Friday Bag of Nothing

October 9, 2009 in Links, Personal, Technology with 0 Comments

It’s true. I got an iPhone last week. I’d say my phone to Internet usage is at a 5% to 95% ratio. Meaning I’m on the phone about 5% of the time I have this phone. I guess I’m not a big talker, huh?

This phone is awesome, and my fingers have already gotten accustomed to the touch screen. Coming from a Treo 700wx, this phone is super-awesome. That Treo was TERRIBLE!

I settled on a case from Switcheasy.com. I have the CapsuleNEO case (in black, although Sam Luce would roll with white and be proud of it.) It took me 15 minute to get the darn thing on, but now I’m rolling with the coolest case ever.

So do you have to use a screen protector on the iPhone 3GS? It has the olephobic screen that is smudge-free. While I awaited my SwitchEasy Pure Anti-Reflect screen covers I really fell in love with the perfect non-smudge screen that is on the already on the iPhone. I put on the Anti-Reflect screen when it came in the mail, and immediantly hated it! I then put on a normal screen protector, and it’s smudge city. There seems to be a big debate on the worthiness of screen protectors on iPhones. What do you think? I’m thinking of running mine without screen protectors…

I think Sam Luce is intimidated by my Apple product usage. I’m just sayin’

I’ve put in my formal request to attend The Orange Conference in April. I’ll be waiting and hoping we have the funds to make it happen for me…and maybe my #kidmin team. I don’t know if I’ll be live blogging from Orange this year, but I’d still really like to go and meet up with all my Orange buddies.

Can I just go on record and say that I have the most awesome Children’s Ministry Team in the world. These women (that’s right I’m the only man!) do a wonderful job of making me look great. I know that’s not an ambition of theirs, just to make me look good. But it happens everyday! I get more credit for the genius of my team, than I’m comfortable with.

Our Parent Sunday totally rocked last week! I’m still so excited that we had so many 1st grade parents hanging out with us in Kidsplace. If you’re a 1st Grade Kidsplace parent, then you missed out!

This Sunday morning during our largest and latest service, we will be dedicating 25 children from 20 families. These parents have made a HUGE commitment to be spiritual leaders in their homes, and I’m so excited to introduce them to the congregation of Trinity Church. Be there at 11:30am on Sunday to see it all for yourself! It’s gonna be AWESOME! Next week I’ll be posting all about Child Dedications, so stay tuned.

We’ve got the Trinity Church Fall Festival coming up on Saturday, October 31st. Usually I count on about 80 Texas Tech sorority girls to come work the event, but with a Tech home football game that starts at the same time…that’s not gonna happen. If you’re in and around Lubbock, and don’t have kids; then go signup now! http://www.trinitytoday.com/fallfestivalvolunteer We’ll have a 1,000 kiddos running around, and I don’t want to ask my parents to work the event! Help!!

Because of my IT management background, I’ve been able to be a part of the interview process for Trinity’s IT manager position. We are in desperate need of someone to take us to a new level technologically, and it pays well! I’ve met with 4 candidates, and after I get some distance from this whole process I feel a “What not to do in a job interview!” post coming up. Seriously.

I’ve been sick this week. I’m not gonna die. I’m just a man in need of sympathy and wanted to throw that out there and see who might bite.

Does it make me a nerd to get into a debate with this guy, about whether Superman could defeat Darth Vader? Just typing that helps me know the answer. Nevermind.

Parent Sunday

October 6, 2009 in Ministry with 5 Comments

I’ve chronicled our adventures at Trinity Church of getting families more involved in the spiritual experience we offer their children during our weekend environments (Check out our Going Orange Baby Steps #1 and Baby Steps #2.)

We’ve worked hard to get parents involved in our traditional drop-off events, and have made changes to our child baptism procedures, and we’ve totally revamped our Child Dedication process in the past few months. One of the other things we’ve wanted to do is offer parents a glimpse of what we do with their children each and every Sunday morning at Trinity Kidsplace.

So what were the goals?

Goal #1: To see parents participate in a Trinity Kidsplace experience with their child.

Goal #2: Parents would be exposed to all that happens in Kidsplace with their Elementary age children.

What were the challenges we were up against as a team to get parents involved?

1. It was not possible to do a Children’s Ministry led service for adults in the main sanctuary. We have 4 services each weekend, and to plan for all 4 services would be quite the load. I’m also not sure it would be as effective at our church as it might be at other churches. In the future this might be an option, but I don’t see it fitting the overall vision of our church.
2. We have tons of parents involved in Adult Education opportunities on Sunday Mornings. This means we need to offer something that floats between multiple services so everyone can have a chance to attend Kidsplace with their child.
3. We operate in limited physical space. We do children’s ministry in a room that barely holds the children. Adding a 100 parents would be a logistical nightmare!
4. We wanted to resist the temptation to pull a bait and switch on our parents. You know the kind. Where you ramp everything up and bring in the chainsaw juggling clowns for the parents, then back to the puppets talking to the ceiling when the parents leave. We want to show what we really do for kids. Nothing more, nothing less.

Here is what we did:

1. We planned five “Parent Sunday” events over the next 3 months. There are five, because our Elementary ministry currently ministers to 1st-5th graders.
2. We also spread them out so we have a week gap between each of our “Parent Sunday” events. This was done to prevent volunteer burnout, and to allow me time to promote and get the word out. The way it’s setup, we’ll get 1st through 4th grades in before Thanksgiving, and we’ll get 5th grade parents down in January 2010.
3. We promoted the event only to the parents that were invited on that particular week. No mass mailings, no church bulletin insert, etc… We only want parents to hear about it when it pertains to them. How did we do it? We created mailed personal invites for the parents, handed out left-over invites to parents the Sunday before in the specific small group that applied to them. I also posted on our parents blog, and on the Facebook Kidsplace Fan page what was coming up. I used the parents blog as a place to answer those commonly asked questions.
4. We did what we do. We sang the songs we always sing, and did our large group and small group programming like we always do, and the only added element was the parents being in the room. We even made very little mention from the large group stage that we had parents in the room.
5. We gave a gift to each parent in attendance when they checked-in at the parent table. The gift included some the lesson take-home page that pertained to what they experienced, included the “How to talk to your child about Salvation and Baptism” materials, and a small book about connecting with your kids. It was an easy, easy, easy gift. Nothing too huge.
6. We had some family-friendly gift cards in the small group time with kids and their parents. I left it up to the small group leaders to determine how they were given away, but I heard they worked them into some review-type games. This week it was some Krispy Kreme gift cards. I tried to make it something family friendly.

So how did it go?

It actually went remarkably well. I’d say about 1/3 of the kids in the 1st grade, had parents in attendance. Which was pretty great! The parents loved it, and I had many comments that they were so glad to be a part of what happened. Even a few comments like, “I had no idea you guys did this with the kids!” We really exposed ourselves to people in our church that had no idea what we did with their kids every Sunday morning. These are good things, trust me.

In the coming weeks we’ll see the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, & 5th grade parents come down to experience Kidsplace and it’s my prayer that we can build some momentum for more family involvement going into 2010 and beyond.

Here are the invites we sent to parents. It was postcard sized, and printed front and back. We put them in some nice invitation quality envelopes, and put our gears logo all over the envelope.

Sam Luce has done some great things at his church to reach out to parents and the like; but as is the case with most things…it didn’t fit our model. I encourage you to flood his inbox with questions about their Parent Sundays (or whatever they officially call them.) He’s the pro at these kinds of things!

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