Handling Offense

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Fact #1: The people you interact with the most will be offended by you at some point.

Fact #2: This doesn’t have to be an everyday occurence.

With as many interactions as you have on a daily basis, it’s inevitable that you will eventually cross the line into offense. I’ve found with my own experence that this is usually not because I’m intentionally trying to hurt someone, but instead is caused by my insensitivity, failure to listen, being prideful, or choosing to be dogmatic about one of my opinions. It boils down to this, when I offend…it’s rarely on purpose. It’s usually because I’m self-centered in some form.

This doesn’t excuse my behavior, but it does help me better understand others. It helps me realize that when I’m on that other side of offense, that I should give others the same benefit of the doubt that I want them to give me. Love that phrase, “the benefit of the doubt.”

benefit  of the  doubt

  1. A  favorable  judgement  given in the  absence  of full  evidence.

Go ahead and read that definition over again. The absence of full evidence. That’s good people, really good.  Could we choose to be favorable towards others, even when they hurt us?

Matthew 11:6Blessed is the one who  is not offended by me.

Friday Bag #22

 The Friday Bag

How to Guard Sabbath for your Children  –  “Children don’t set the calendar in our homes—if they are overscheduled or sleep-deprived, the fault lies with us. How can we better discharge our duty of raising children to seek Sabbath? To value down-time to reconnect with God and family?” // This is so, so, so good to read as a parent. Make the time to at the very least read this first link!

5 Signs You Lack Integrity“While there are many things that compromise our integrity, here are five signs that show your integrity is in question…”

The Right Questions to Ask About Yourself“There’s no experience, no relationship, no childhood memory, no part-time job, no tragedy, and no talent that’s wasted on you. It all culminates into one beautiful compilation of purpose.  I wrote down some of the  defining moments of my life  as an event producer.  But here are some questions to ask about yourself.”

CPC 2013 Recap Video – I was there, were you?

Find more videos like this on CMConnect – free kidmin network

Teamwork 101

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It’s impossible to tell people what I do without the words team and teamwork being heard. I work in a church so I work with people that go to that church. I work in those environments for kids and students, so I work with kids and students. That much is obvious.  But what I really do is lead the teams that lead those areas specifically. To further complicate it, I lead a team of leaders that lead their own teams. Take me to coffee sometime, and I’ll tell you about this team of all-stars I have the privilege of leading now.

But, what is a team? A team is collection of people gathered together to accomplish one singular purpose. Easy enough to understand, right? If I’m creating a hockey team, I need a collection of hockey players. My team won’t work if I put 3 hockey players with 20 people that can’t ice skate. Get that? A team is a collection/group/cohort that works together to accomplish-do-achieve one singular purpose.

Let’s go to the Bible on this. Teamwork matters.

  • Ecclesiastes 4:9-12: Two are better off than one, because together they can work more effectively. If one of them falls down, the other can help him up. But if someone is alone and falls, it’s just too bad, because there is no one to help him. If it’s cold, two can sleep together and stay warm but how can you keep warm by yourself. Two men can resist an attack that would defeat one man alone. A rope of three cords is hard to break. (TEV) We are better together than we are on our own.
  • Nehemiah 4: When the Israelites were rebuilding the wall in Jerusalem, the work got tough and they got discouraged. Finally, they just gave up. So Nehemiah reorganized the work into teams. Half would stand guard with their spears and swords and protect everyone. The other half would work. Then they’d alternate their positions. He posted everyone by groups and families, so they could encourage and support each other.
  • Mark 6:7:  When Jesus sent people out in ministry; he sent them out in twos. He did not expect them to minister alone.
  • Acts 24: Paul specifically mentions seven people who were part of him ministry team. He brought others along, not only to train them, but also to keep him encouraged.

BTW: There is a great book by John Maxwell, titled “Teamwork 101″; you should check it out.

Free Stuff Monday

Visionary Marriage is insightful marriage advice meant to draw a couple closer to God and to each other. After years of counseling engaged and married couples, the Rienow’s realized that most couples did not have a biblical mission and purpose for their family. They also didn’t know WHY God brought them together.

This book will reveal that God does have a plan and a purpose for marriage and family. The focus is on the big-picture purpose for marriage, and the goal of being successful once understanding that purpose.

This week you can win your own personal copy of Visionary Marriage.  I’ve listened to Dr. Rob Rienow lead a breakout at the D6 Conference  last year, and really believe in his stuff.  I know that this book is worth investing some time to read!

Hiring Quality #1 // Love Your Spouse

Yesterday I introduced the topic of choosing a quality ministry staff team. Interviewing, reading resumes, checking references, and discussing a candidates strengths and weaknesses are all a part of the process.  However, there are three things that I’m looking for in every person that has the potential to join my ministry team!

First, I’m looking for somebody involved in a healthy married relationship. (Of course if they are not married, they are exempt.) I’m not going to hire somebody that can’t say something nice about their husband (or wife.)  I want somebody that is secure in their relationship, and won’t be coming to work everyday looking for my approval for them as an individual.  It’s a dangerous game for me as a man to surround myself with needy women that don’t get enough attention at home.  That sounds harsh, doesn’t it?

Now, how do I find this out?  Legally, I can’t ask questions about their spouse; but I can listen for little things.  For instance, do they mention their spouse when I ask about their purpose?  Do they mention their spouse when I ask them to describe how they make decisions that affect their families?  I’m always looking and listening for the little things people say about the person they’re married to.  It always makes me feel more comfortable with a person that speaks well of their spouse.

You will disqualify yourself almost  immediately  if you disparage your husband, belittle his past ideas, or tell me that he doesn’t want you to work for the church.  By the way, I’ve heard all these things in interviews over the years.  This filter helps me to determine how committed a person will be to their purpose and passion serving our church in a ministry staff position.  If they’re committed to their spouse, and consider themselves blessed to share life with them, then I know that they will feel the same way about many other committments they make.

I have a team of all women, besides myself of course, yet the same applies when the day comes for me to hire a male counterpart.