Archives For reflection

Being an Introvert

October 17, 2012 — 4 Comments

IntrovertShy

It’s alright to be in introvert in this noisy world we live in. Really, it is. The world around us extols the virtues everyday of those extroverted, creative, and charming leaders. But it’s also worth championing the introverted, creative and charming leaders. There are both kinds of people, I promise.

It begins with understanding introverts when compared to extroverts. 

Extraversion means “outward-turning” and introversion means “inward-turning”. People who prefer extraversion draw energy from action: they tend to act, then reflect, then act further. If they are inactive, their motivation tends to decline. To rebuild their energy, extraverts need breaks from time spent in reflection. Conversely, those who prefer introversion expend energy through action: they prefer to reflect, then act, then reflect again. To rebuild their energy, introverts need quiet time alone, away from activity.

The extravert’s flow is directed outward toward people and objects, and the introvert’s is directed inward toward concepts and ideas. Contrasting characteristics between extraverts and introverts include the following:

  • Extraverts are action oriented, while introverts are thought oriented.
  • Extraverts seek breadth of knowledge and influence, while introverts seek depth of knowledge and influence.
  • Extraverts often prefer more frequent interaction, while introverts prefer more substantial interaction.
  • Extraverts recharge and get their energy from spending time with people, while introverts recharge and get their energy from spending time alone.

Now, I basically copied-and-pasted this from the Wikipedia page, but did you take the time to see that bullet point at the bottom? That’s the key. Action vs. Thought, breadth of knowledge vs. depth of knowledge, frequent interaction vs. substantial interaction, and then the best comparison of all:

Extraverts recharge and get their energy from spending time with people, while introverts recharge and get their energy from spending time alone.

There are so many different kinds of introverts, but this last contrasts illustrates what all introverts have in common. We all need time alone to recharge. It’s just that simple. The amount of time alone may vary, and who we allow into our alone time may vary; but the time alone things…it never changes.

Do any of these definitions help you identify people in your own life? Who are they?

 

 

Friends

Recently, I’ve entered into a new position, in a new church, in a new town, while living in a new house, but still with my old family. (Which isn’t all that old…) There have been boxes to unload, and so many new people to meet. Over the next 2 weeks I thought I would speak about some of those transitional moments for me. Not that I’m more special than anyone else, but I’ve done quite a bit of self-reflection over the past 2 months to find myself where I am now. Let’s consider this documentation of that self-reflection.

I’ve found that the best advice moving into something unfamiliar is to not try to hard to make what I want to happen…happen. I’m not talking about programming, church-work, staffing changes, etc… I’m speaking towards the things I really want. Friends, confidants, mentors, and those people who generally make living somewhere worth living there.

I find myself living completely inside the tension of wanting to make new friends, but also trying to take the time to find who’s friendly. It’s the tension between wanting to wait before I judge people’s motives, and instinctively jumping to conclusions quickly.  It’s the awkward place of feeling like you need to say something to someone, but you’re not yet sure whether they want you to say something.

In this transition, I sit as the listener in the room, the one willing to be the very last to speak, and the one unwilling to tease a new friend too hard. I pray for my children that their friends come quickly and that those friends are wise. I pray for my wife, that her friends come quickly and that those friends are encouraging. And, I pray for me, that my friends come in that perfect timing; and I pray that those friends be the ones that make being here worth truly being here. Know what I mean?

“One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor.” -Proverbs 12:26a

Those People Exist

December 19, 2011 — Leave a comment

Those people really exist.  You know the people.  

Those people find the fault in all you do.

Those people assume the worst of the words out of your mouth.

Those people judge your intentions as faulty.

Those people are quick to criticize.

Those people are slow to defend.

Those people are hurting.

I am those people sometimes.

I am those people.

Instead of hating those people, this time I will choose to encourage, love, and offer grace to those people.

Because as one of those people myself, I need the same from them.