Tag Archive - teaching

The Lie of Consensus

October 4, 2011 in Ministry with 5 Comments

Consensus is defined as “general agreement among a group.”  You know where consensus comes into play in your life, right?  You want to start moving ahead with your ideas, but you feel you need some consensus from your leaders to do it.  You know what needs to be done, but you want consensus from others before moving forward.  You are burdened with a need that needs met quickly, but you want to build consensus so you won’t feel all alone meeting the need.

The danger with consensus is that oftentimes it stagnates our progress and delays our successes.  In and of itself, consensus is a great thing to have.  There are times when it is absolutely necessary to get others on your side before moving forward on something.  But there are those other times that we use the lack of consensus as an excuse to not obey what we know God has told us to do.

So how do you know when to gain consensus, and when to act quickly without it?  How should I know.  You’re the one working in your church, leading your family, and daily seeking God’s Will for your life and situation, right?  You’re already the expert.

Just refuse to buy into the lie that you NEED consensus to do anything.  Pray and act, pray and act, pray and act, and I believe you will go in the direction that you and your group need to go.

Staff Talk: Assume the Best

September 15, 2011 in Ministry with 2 Comments

I’ve spent a lot of time talking about the tension that exists on our church staff this week.  This is my last attempt at teaching myself and others how to navigate these sometimes bumpy waters of working on a church staff.  I’ve written about defining what you want out of your church staff relationships, taking action steps to make it happen, and practicing a high level of accountability to seeing it take place in your reality.  Right now I want to address the bow that tops the gift.

When working on a church staff, you always put yourself in a position for success when you decide beforehand that you will assume the best of those you work with.

Put it however you want.  You have to give them a benefit of the doubt, expect the best out of their intentions, and stop assuming the worst in everyone else’s motives.

I’ve sat in many an office with someone that is deeply wounded by the actions of another.  Many times I’m not seeing the offense, but I encourage the wounded person to speak to that person to hurt them.  What’s crazy to me, is how often the offense was never intended; and the person that did the wounding leaves wounded.  Why would they leave feeling hurt?  Because they can’t imagine that someone they trust would think they’d have such a terrible motive behind their actions.

When we choose to assume the best of those we work with, we free ourselves from the comparison game.  We free ourselves from bitterness towards the success of others.  We free ourselves from resentment that only handicaps our own efforts for the Kingdom of God.  When was the last time you were willing to give others the opportunity to have a bad day?  Do you never have bad days?  When have you given people the room to just misspeak?  Have you never misspoken?  When have you offered someone quick forgiveness, seeing that they genuinely made a mistake?  You can live free, and it all starts with giving others the same courtesy you’d want them to give you!

I’m not naive.  I realize there are some mean and angry people working on church staffs.  There is rarely a conference that goes by that I don’t hear stories about how church staffs that turn my stomach.  But even in that world, assuming the best goes a long ways towards giving us the health we need to work with those we lead, those we cooperate with, and those we follow.

Staff Talk: Practice Accountability

September 14, 2011 in Ministry with 0 Comments

You’re making it happen on your staff.  With those you lead, those you work with, and the people you follow; you have figured out what you want and you are doing it.  But there’s more.  It’s the dreaded time to Practice Accountability.  Are you really doing what you’ve defined?  Are you really making it happen?

The truth is that you can only expect to change those things you are willing to evaluate and hold accountable.  On this step, it will look drastically different depending on what level you are practicing accountability.  Pay close attention and don’t mix these up!

Those I Lead -> You have the strongest role here for holding your team accountable.  You’re the leader, it’s on you to evaluate and manage.  However, I’ve learned it’s so important that you let individual accountability happen in an individual setting.  The flip side of that is to only let team accountability happen within a team setting.  Don’t confuse these two!

Those I Cooperate With -> I’m going to encourage you to get inward-focused on this one.  Evaluate yourself from time to time with these questions: Are you being the person you want them to be for you? Are you being the friend you want them to be for you? Have you invested the time necessary to build the peer atmosphere you expect?  Practicing accountbility at this level is all about personal accountability.

Those I Follow -> Accountability at this level becomes even more inward focused than it does with our peers.  I’ve found the easiest way to practice accountability at this level is to put myself in the position of the people I report to.  From this perspective I can evaluate myself, but I have to be willing to look at myself honestly.

To skip the step of holding accountable what you’ve said you want, and what you say your willing to do; is to skip actually seeing it completed.  Take the time to let it happen in a real way, by practicing personal and individual accountability in all of your staff relationships.

How do you practice accountability when you’ve set a plan?  Let us know in the comments below!

Staff Talk: Move Where You Want to Be

September 12, 2011 in Ministry with 1 Comment

Navigating the dangerous, yet rewarding waters of Church Staff Relationships takes a certain kind of courage.  It first takes the courage to figure out what it is that you want.  Then it takes even more courage to take the next step of actually moving in the direction you want to go.  Again, it sounds silly doesn’t it?

What is it going to take for things to flourish in your staff relationships?  What are you going to have to DO to make things get healthy and stay healthy?

Those I Lead -> This should be the easy one, right?  As the leader it falls on us to ACT on those things we have defined.  You’re the leader, implement with honor and integrity what you want to see in your area of responsibility.  One way to do this is to encourage feedback in individual settings, as it pertains to the team as a whole. As the leader you are the standard bearer, act like it!

Those I Cooperate With -> It’s upon you as a coworker to CHANGE what you can about your relationships to bring about what you defined.  Change yourself first, then act patiently to change others. (Knowing they might now!)  I’m sure you’ve heard the famous Ghandi quote, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”  It’s especially true in the peer staff relationships at our churches!

Those I Follow -> In this hard place of moving in the direction you want to move with your own leader, it falls on you to INFLUENCE your leader in creative ways to help bring about the defined goals.  Do not, I repeat, do not walk into your bosses office and tell them exactly what you are doing to improve your relationship.  That would be a relationship-killer!  Instead pray and act honestly and openly with your senior leadership.  It’s imperative that you prove you can be trusted, before being completely honest and open about your goals.

So you’ve defined the goals, and now you are acting to make it happen.  Let’s all agree that it’s hard to move when you’ve grown comfortable (even when unhappy), but let’s also agree that moving is what has to happen for things to change.  I believe in you!

What are you willing to change to make it happen?  Dare you to leave a comment and tell me!

Staff Talk: What Do You Want?

September 7, 2011 in Ministry with 4 Comments

Learning to navigate staff relationships so that you are healthy and happy can be a difficult road.  However, it is a road that is possible to navigate.  It all starts with defining the culture and atmosphere you want to work in.  That sounds too simple, doesn’t it?  It sounds simple, because it is simple.  Before you can ‘work on it’ you need to know WHAT you want.  Don’t be afraid to be specific.

For example, you might say that you want your work environment to be one that is fun, or respectful, or harboring trust, or where accountability is practiced.  Whatever you want, you need to sit down with a pen and paper and figure out what it is that you want.

I think of it like this: If someone were to walk into your working environment and observe your team; what would they tell you it looks like?  It may seem silly to say this, but the time taken to define what you want is often put off.  But it’s worth your time to figure this part out.

But what does it look like within the context of the three working relationships we have at work?

Those I Lead -> What would you want people to say about the department you lead, or the department you manage?  One key thing to remember for those I lead: involve them in helping to define what this should be.  I’m not saying that you let them define it, but you let them have a voice in the conversation.

Those I Cooperate With -> If someone evaluated the relationship between you and a staff peer, what would you want them to discover?  As I cannot make those I work with do what I want, this becomes inwardly focused.  I have to ask myself these questions: What could I learn from those I work with?  What could I offer to those I work with?  What could happen if I got along with those I work with?  Invest the time necessary to see what you want from those you work with.

Those I Follow -> How would you define a healthy relationship with your senior leader?  Much like those I cooperate with, this one is inwardly focused.  I’ve talked to so many people at churches that are unhappy with their relationship with their Senior leader; but few of them can tell me exactly what they even want out of their senior leader.  What is it that you want.

We could sum up this opening principle by saying that before you get to the DOING part of navigating staff relationships, you DEFINE what you want.

So here’s the question to you: What do you want from those you work with?  Comment NOW!!

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