How about that title?  I know it’s moderately shocking and immediately takes you to a negative place.  Sorry for that, but I’d really like to address the five dangerous places I’ve seen Children’s Pastors go.  I’ve only been doing Children’s Ministry for a little over six years, so in many respects I’m a #kidmin newbie.  In my 6 years of working with other Children’s Pastors I’ve noticed 5 distinct negative directions and roles that Children’s Pastors take on, and I’m going to throw some hate on all 5 of them!

It is not my intention to be negative, but to share 5 roles we should avoid.  They are 5 traps that I work hard to avoid falling into and 5 warning signs for myself.  If I begin to describe you, then consider it a warning.

And by the way…I love you.

**UPDATE**

Here is a listing of links to the pages that initially followed this introduction post:

#1 The Irrelevant Children’s Minister

#2 The “One-Man Show” Children’s Minister

#3 The Children’s Minister that Ignores Early Childhood

#4 The “Jump on my Sinking Ship” Children’s Minister

#5. The Ungrateful Children’s Minister

We contribute nothing to the plan of God.  Shocking, huh? I thought so too, when I first heard this statement.  Hang in there with me and let me explain.  We’re talking about contributing to God’s plan.  Of course we contribute to the work of our ministry teams, senior pastors, bosses, family, etc…  I’m asking if you really think you contribute to the plan of God.

First, let’s look at the definition for the word Contribute.

Contribute: To give something in order to help achieve or provide something.

Now, let’s look at the definition for the word Participate.

Participate: To take part or share in.

Interesting, huh?  Can you see where you really don’t CONTRIBUTE anything to the plan of God?   However, he desires us to PARTICIPATE fully.  Revelations 13:8 tells us that God established His plan before the foundations of the world.  There is nothing to contribute or add to His plan.  We instead participate in His plan.  When you believe that you contribute to God’s plan, you put yourself in some dangerous situations.

The Dangers of thinking you CONTRIBUTE:

1. We expect others to work for our contribution.

When we think that our actions contribute so much, we expect others to immediately  line up with what we are doing.  While we each bring our individual gifts to each plan, we need to understand that we are all participating in the same plan.  We have to allow others to participate alongside us.  Your way is not always the only way, and when we work with others through a perspective of participation in God’s plan we will value everyone’s participation.

2. We have a tendency use and abuse others.

When we think we are contributing to God’s plan, we begin to see others as pawns and tools for us to use for our contribution.  When we see every person as participating, we respect the thoughts and actions of others.

3.  We think God is waiting on our next move.

This is a dangerous place to be.  Many would never verbalize, “I have to hurry because God is waiting on ME to take action.”  However, we act as if God is depending on our next move.  Here’s some needed truth: God does NOT wait with baited breath for your next contribution.  He will move whether you do something or not.  Of course, he desires for you to participate and to use wisdom to know His next move and what He wants you to do.  But, he doesn’t sit in heaven “hoping” you do what he “needs” you to do.  Check out what Mordecai tells Esther in the Bible.  Esther is confronted with needing to save Israel.  Mordecai gives her some great advice.

Esther 4:14 For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

I do not want it to come from another place.  But I need to realize that it will if I don’t do what God tells me to.  Instead of wasting time thinking I contribute something to what God is already doing in the world, I should operate with an intense level of gratitude that the creator of the universe lets me participate fully in His plan for the world.

How does participating differ from contributing? Do you think you’re contributing? Do you think God could carry on perfectly fine without you?

Do you look at others as participating alongside you?

Earlier this week I wrote about finding your source before you find your purpose. It’s a great a misstep to think that if we fill our lives with activities, objectives, and functions that eventually we’ll discover our purpose.  Purpose must preceed the planning!

The key is in knowing God and allowing Him to determine and direct your life. It all starts with knowing Him.  How can we find purpose without knowing God?  You can’t.  We need to concern ourselves with what God concerns himself with.  Then, and only then, will God’s purpose for us be revealed.

Now that we’ve established this important principle, let’s look at the four different ways that we can begin to find purpose.  I’m sure my readers are smart enough to figure it out, but three of them are wrong and only one is right:

1.   Deduction -These are the people that live their entire lives without purpose or direction.  They live with no thought to what they are doing or why.  They have decided to live their lives until the end, and then “add up the score” at the end.  Think of it as “postmortem purpose.”

When I was in college I volunteered at the local Hospice.  Being a perfectly unqualified 19 year old, I then sat by the deathbeds of men and women and listened to them talk of their lives.  I remember one lady in particular that was so upset because she couldn’t figure out what she wanted said at her funeral.  She had never taken the time to find her purpose, and instead sat on her deathbed drying to deduce what it might have been.  What a sad way to live.

2.  Association -Purpose gained through various associations: family, neighborhood, friends, school, churches, etc…  These are great purposes, that are worth supporting and furthering.  But rather than develop personal purpose, these people simply comply with the corporate purpose.  Think of it as “adopted purpose.”

3.  Emulation -Looking to “heroic figures” or other individuals whom they seek to pattern their lives after.  Easily seen in hair styles, fashion, language, etc…  I see this in my kids, as they will mimic my tone of voice, hand motions, and act like they love the things I love.  Until of course I eat some grilled asparagus, then they distance.  Think of Emulation as “vicarious purpose.”

These three ways of finding purpose all have one things in common.  They’re all EASY.  None of them require great thought or ambition.  If you live your life by deduction, association, or emulation; you will experience burnout and tend to blame others for your own failures and disappointments.

4.  Personalization -Developing personal convictions.  Correct purpose is not determined by technique, but by the source.  When a statement of Godly purpose on a personal level is derived, fulfillment follows!  Think of it as “individual purpose.”  God has something that is unique to you as in individual.  You’re different, and it’s time we look at our differences as our strength!

To establish Godly purpose depends upon knowing God intimately, and in order to know God one must apply the Scriptures.

John 14:21 “Those who know my commands and obey them are the ones who love me, and my Father will love those who love me. I will love them and will show myself to them.”

Are you actively seeking His will?  Are you intimate with His Word?  Have you asked for purpose?

HT: Establishing Your Purpose, CMBC.com Ministry in the Marketplace Manual (This is OLD, but great stuff!)

John 17:4 “Having finished the work you gave me to do, I brought you glory on earth.”

Philippians 3:14 “I keep trying to reach the goal and get the prize for which God called me through Christ to the life above.”

Many people have been taught how to manage life via a “goals and objectives” model, but few have been instructed to give thought to the SOURCE of those objectives.  Scripture teaches that purpose precedes planning.  So how do we balance the activities of our life with the purpose from God?  Which comes first?

Purpose is NOT the adding up of new activities.  It is not realized while trying to meet certain goals.  An objective is defined as a basic aim that a person takes in order to accomplish a predetermined end.  Just as activities without objectives are unfulfilling, so are objectives without purpose.  Staying busy racking up successes is not helping you find your purpose.  Consider this a warning: Achievement can be stimulating, but it is not fulfilling over the long haul of life.

What is purpose?  Purpose is simply what God wants our life to add up to and why.

The only difference for the non-believer is who he is pleasing with his purpose.  Purpose is gained by understanding the program and story of God.  If you don’t know God, you can’t know how to participate in His purpose for your life.  It’s so simple, it’s hard.

Paul (Saul of Tarsus) perfectly illustrates this for us in Acts 9.  As he is traveling on the Damascus road he has a supernatural encounter with Jesus.  After Jesus gets his attention, Paul asked these two questions: “Who are you Lord?” and “What do you want me to do?”  The first question is one of purpose, and the second question is one of objectives and activities.

The key is in knowing God and allowing Him to determine and direct your life. It all starts with knowing Him.  How can we find purpose without knowing God?  You can’t.

We need to concern ourselves with what God concerns himself with.  Then, and only then, will God’s purpose for us be revealed.

How much of your life is directed by eternal focus (sensitive to what God is concerned with), and how much is strictly temporal focus (survival, getting ahead, doing what looks good)?

In a previous post I addressed the idea of seizing opportunities, and the two fears that keep us from grasping those opportunities when they come available.  The first fear that leads to us missing opportunities is the fear of our own weakness. The second fear is the all too common fear of commitment.

Numbers 13:32 “The land is too large to conquer.”

The Israelites used this as an excuse, because they were afraid of the commitment they would be making.  They looked at all that God promised, and wondered how they could ever achieve all of that.  The sad truth is that God never intended his promise to be an overnight project.  Instead of seizing the opportunity to take the promised land, the Israelites were scared away by the audacity of the task before them.  The had their eyes on the destination, but failed to see the value of the journey.

Moses would later address this to the children of the missed opportunity.

Deuteronomy 7:22 “When the Lord your God forces those nations out of the land, he will do it little by little ahead of you. You won’t be able to destroy them all at once; otherwise, the wild animals will grow too many in number.”

I love it.  Little by little.  What a great promise to me as I sometimes get spooked by what opportunities God might be setting before me.  God isn’t asking me to be an overnight success as a father, husband, or servant.  He’s asking me to seize the audacious opportunity, and have faith that he will help me little by little.  Don’t be scared of the bigness of your own dreams!
Learn to see the value in the journey.  After you’ve seized the great destination that this new opportunity presents, it’s time to enjoy the ride.  Let God speak to you day by day, little by little.  See the journey by spending less time always looking ahead at the difference being made, and spending more time letting God teach us through the journey.