Tag Archive - teaching

Navigating Staff Relationships

September 6, 2011 in Ministry with 16 Comments

I remember my very first day at Trinity Church in Lubbock.  I was taken across campus to fill out some HR and tax paperwork, and after I finished I found myself all alone in someone’s office that was far from my own.  I asked where I needed to go next, and was told that I should go to my office and start the adventure.  However, there was one problem.  I didn’t know where my office was!  I spent the next 30 minutes walking around campus looking for my office.  In fact, it wasn’t until a week later that I discovered that the lady working outside my office door actually worked for me.  Amazing, I had an assistant and it took me a week to figure it out!

Now things have gotten much better at Trinity for new employees, but it’s still proof that being on a church staff can be quite the adventure.  Guess what I hear when I talk to people in church ministry?  Few want to talk about their ministry, but a good deal of people want to lament their pastors, peers, or volunteers.

Why is this so?

Because the most challenging and most unprepared aspect of working in church ministry is how we work within our staff structures.  Let’s be honest, how many of us ever dreamed that working with others would be so hard…at a church?!?

This week I want to talk about something that has consumed my life as of late.  Learning to navigate all the different staff relationships we deal with inside of a church-staff setting.  Before we get started, let’s look at defining the three main categories of all staff relationships.

Define the Three Main Categories of Staff Relationships:

  1. Those we Lead
    1. Subordinates = Staff that reports to us directly.
    2. Volunteers = Those that serve in our areas and depend on us for leadership.
  2. Those we Cooperate with in accomplishing the Greater Vision of our churches
    1. Co-Workers = Peers that work on our same level within the organization
    2. If you’re the Kid’s Pastor, here is your Youth Pastor
  1. Those we Follow
    1. Managers = Direct Reports
    2. Executive Leaders/Pastors = Lead those we report to, or lead us directly.
    3. Senior Pastors = Leader of entire organization
Somewhere in the realm of all three of these we operate.  People we lead, people we cooperate with (or should be cooperating with), and people we follow and serve under.  As we start to identify the 4 principles of navigating through the sometimes treachrous, but always rewarding church staff relationships, I’d like to hear from you.
How many do you lead?  
How many are considered your ‘peers’ on your church staff?  
Who leads you, is it an executive pastor, department pastor, or do you sit directly under a Senior Pastor?  

Whippersnappers, Listen Up!

June 9, 2011 in Personal with 4 Comments

Let me say that I’m not a person that is tormented by regrets.  I live virtually a regret-free life, but that isn’t to say there aren’t things I wish I knew when I was 20.  As the mid-30′s guy in a group of many friends in their 20′s these are the things I want to sit down and say as nicely as possible as I watch them set the course for their own lives:

  • Stop trying to make yourself important by making others feel less so.  You don’t make your candle shine brighter by blowing someone else out!  It just doesn’t work, eventually you just end up looking stupid and judgmental.  I say that as a perpetrator, promise.
  • Influence isn’t gained by only listening to those with status.  It’s gained by listening to people from all different areas of life.  The big-business guy making millions can definitely speak life into areas of your life, but so can the guy scraping by on pennies in order to live life at the pace he chooses.
  • Take a vacation!  I do regret not getting away more when I was younger.  Start the tradition of making time for yourself and your family a priority NOW!
  • Save more money.  Of all the stupid decisions I made in my 20′s the ones that still haunt me darkly are the ones involving dumb money decisions.  Save money, save money, save money; and what you spend you should spend wisely.
  • Get comfortable with change.  There is something in our 20′s that desires stability, and this is a good thing; but be willing to always adapt, upgrade, and change life goals as needed.
  • Be bold.  Yes, you are in your 20′s and your not as far along as others.  Yes, you need to be patient and move slowly at times to help those older than you adjust to your pace.  Yes, you don’t have the experience that others have.  BUT, you have passion, ideas, creativity, heart, and energy that your environment needs.  Be BOLD!
  • Ask questions and then take the time to listen for the answer. I wish that I had talked less and asked more questions.  If you have young kids, then ask questions of the guy with older kids.  If you aren’t married, ask questions of the married guy.  You get the point?  Ask and listen, ask and listen, ask and listen?

So here’s what I’d like to hear.  Anybody out there share my age and perspective?  What would you add?

And any mid 40, 50, and 60 year old’s out there that would like to teach this young whippersnapper a thing or two?  Have at it, I’m all ears!

 

5 Ways of Recognizing Stress

June 2, 2011 in Ministry, Personal with 0 Comments

I’m not somebody that’s ever considered myself stressed very easily.  I’m not claiming to never feel stressed, but normally my brain operation is fine (meaning I rarely feel stressed internally); but I do show signs of stress in my body. At the not yet old age of 35…I’m learning the tell-tale signs of knowing I’m stressed.  Here are 5 ways I’ve learned to recognize Stress in my life!

  • I stop sleeping.  This one is easy, but often after 3 or 4 nights of sleepless chaos I will realize that maybe I’m giving way to much thought to a particular issue or situation.  Crazy that it takes me 3 or 4 nights to come to this conclusion, huh?
  • Headaches.  Sometimes I’m sleeping well enough, but then I’ll be tortured for a few days with terrible come-and-go headaches.  I’m always able to push through to a certain extent, but the feeling of a ticking time bomb in your head is no way to live.
  • I start drinking.  Now, now…I’m not talking the dizzy-inducing variety of tonic.  I’m speaking of the caffeinated variety.  There are days that 3 or 4 shot espresso’s will not placate my body, and I’ll grab multiple cans of soda at work and still am looking for more caffeine.  Simply put, when I’m refreshed and energized then one cup of coffee in the morning will always suffice.
  • I snap uncharacteristically.  When I’m stressed, I’ll find myself going to bed each night thinking through the list of people I owe an apology to from the day of my overreacting and biting peoples heads off.  Oh wait, am I the only one?  Sorry.
  • I isolate myself.  When stressed, I withdraw as much as humanely possible.  In a home with 4 kids, this is nearly impossible…but I’ll find myself getting angry that I never have enough alone time; when I really do.

So these are a few of my signs of stress.  When I notice myself living out of these paradigms, then it’s time to evaluate.  And evaluate we will…on the next post!

So heres the question: How do you recognize stress in your life?  How long does it usually take you to realize that stress is overtaking parts of your life that it shouldn’t?

Learning Forgiveness

May 18, 2011 in Ministry, Personal with 1 Comment

This past month I’ve been confronted with Forgiveness in a new and fresh way.  For starters, we are studying the Godly Virtue of Forgiveness in all our Elementary environments at Trinity, and then I get the chance to teach a Child Dedication class this past week where I share about the power of reminding your kids that you’ll always forgive.  And then in the same week that I’ve been forced to eat some crow and ask someone to forgive me, I’ve also been in the position to forgive what somebody did to me.

With our Children we define Forgiveness as “Deciding that someone who has wronged you doesn’t have to pay” and after the experiences of the past 3 weeks I’m going to back that up with a blog-worthy “AMEN!”

Here’s what I’m learning about Forgiveness this month:

  • When I choose to forgive, I’m empowering people to move on.
  • When I ask for forgiveness, I’m empowering people to move on.

 

  • When I choose to forgive my children, I’m demonstrating to them that I can be trusted.
  • When I ask my children to forgive me, I’m demonstrating to them that I can be trusted.

 

  • It’s good to ask for forgiveness, even if you don’t feel there is anything to pay.
  • It’s good to offer forgiveness, even if you don’t feel there is anything owed to you.

 

What do you know about this Forgiveness challenge?  Anything life has taught you about the power of forgiving?

The Inconvenient Nature of Grace

April 12, 2011 in Bible, Personal with 2 Comments

I do want to do good. I want to be defined by my ability to offer second chances, to show grace to nasty situations, and be a person that responds quickly in love. However, I’m constantly battling the same thing.  This thing could easily be stated as a question.

When an opportunity comes for me to show grace, or maybe the situation is screaming for me to give a second chance, or maybe I’m convicted deep within my heart to act quickly to extend love to an unloveable person…I’m confronted with this question somewhere down in my heart and mind.

“Is this convenient right now?”

What a stupid question.  I’m not saying that I verbally say this to myself, or even articulate my thoughts to think this question.  What I do is use this question as the filter through which I make all grace that comes from me pass through.  It’s a lousy self-centered filter, but nonetheless the Inconvenient Nature of Grace is difficult to overcome.

The Inconvenient Nature of Grace is a struggle for me, because at it’s heart the question of whether something is convenient for me is important.  There are many varieties of the question:

Can I afford this financially right now?

What will my wife say if I do this without talking to her first?

Do I have a family commitment to make right now?

Is this really a part of my job description?

All of these questions are good to ask for most situations, but to be a person defined by giving second chances, extending grace, and reflecting God’s heart to teh world…I have to move beyond it.  And beyond it quickly.

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.

That’s my confession.  What keeps you from quickly showing Grace when the situation calls for it?  Admit it.  What’s your filter?

Page 2 of 20«12345»1020...Last »